Lucky Larry: What the hell did you go and do to all these people?
Great Gam Gam: You two are the rightful heirs to the Von Wolfhausen Brewery. You should have the balls to take back what is yours.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Wow! You even talk like a whore.
Great Gam Gam: We are all whores in some ways.
Nita's Father: Once you love someone, they stay in your heart forever.
King Xerxes: Then marry me... And we shall spend an eternity discovering this truth... together.
Summer Jones: I see things.
Jack Shepard: Do you see dead people?
Summer Jones: I see you suffer from a massive inferiority complex.
Jack Shepard: I try to hide that so well.
Chubby Geek: I hate skinny bitches.
Jazmin Biltmore: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Shaw: Don't trust him. Pets are double agents. The moment you turn your backs, he'll shiv you.
Bobbie: Oh, no he can't. We had him fixed.
Budderball: Sweet dreams about cookies, and candy, and ice cream, and cookies. Did I mention cookies?
Beth: It's not even my date and he still gets me out of my skirt!
Danny Archer: So you're a fisherman, ha? What do you catch mostly?
Solomon Vandy: Fish.
Eisenheim: My intention has only been to entertain, nothing more.
Neville Flynn: Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
Dalton Russell: Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don't go away.
Burt Vickerman: Go get changed, warm up and join vault rotation.
Haley Graham: Uh, sorry. I accidentally burned all my leotards last year. Hope this is okay.
Ben the Cow: Otis, a strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.
Curtis Taylor Jr.: Who was the first artist to sing "Hound Dog"?
C.C. White: Elvis Presley.
Curtis Taylor Jr.: Big Mama Thorton. She had the number-one single on the R&B charts, but the white stations wouldn't play it, because to them it was just another race record.
News Reader in 2017: Michael Jackson, the first man to clone himself is now suing himself for molesting himself.
AC Craney: People don't want heart Dick, they want wins.