Carlos: You're crazy.
Nicole: ...and you're beautiful.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Count Thibault: You are lionhearted, Julia, like the women of your lineage. You have courage.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Febre: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned... It's been a lifetime since my last confession.
Janessa: Why don't you just admit it? You want me.
Tsunaron: I couldn't be with a girl whose balls are bigger than mine.
Nathan Conrad: Does she have a new hiding place that I don't know about?
Aggie Conrad: Probably... she's been running around the house like a wild cat all week.
[Afer Max punches a hole in a wall.]
Max Prince: I wanna hit something else. Something big! Something expensive!
Milt Fields: There's a bank across the street, Max.
President Stone: The house of the Lord is a house of order. There are forms for these things.
Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty: What a lucky girl.
Delbert: How's it going?
Building 20 Guard: Big night. Switched from tea to coffee. Brought new meaning to my work.
Fleming: You're not James Bond. I'm not Blofeld. No more explanations, and no last-minute escapes.
Kate: These people are the dregs, Jack. Not even the governments can control them.
Big John Harrigan: And if I was a spy, what would you think of me then?
Howie: Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.
Jack: I thought I was disconnected from everything, for a long time I'd been leading an unstable, risky life. I'd hung out with all sorts of people, nothing could shock me anymore. I was not impressed by the unexpected, I'd always been able to handle it. That night however, when I saw Claire again, I just fell to pieces. I thought I'd managed to forget her, I'd overcome the pain and remorse which made me want to see her again.
Jane: You know, that's why God invented turtlenecks.
Eddie: No, that's why God invented Darlene.
Bobby Kent: You call that going out?
Alice 'Ali' Willis: I don't know.
Bobby Kent: I call it a fucking blowjob! A damn fine blowjob, but a blowjob all the same.
Genesis: I'm Charles Manson of the information age.
Charlie Chaplin: Did you really believe I would stay away?
Marion Davies: No, but you should really believe I didn't want you here.