Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Sophie Piper: The funny thing is I just saw a 7th grader dressed up as a fly.
Alex: A fly?
Sophie Piper: A big, black one with fuzzy legs and feelers.
David: I want to live a real life... I don't want to dream any longer.
Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?
Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.
Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!
Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!
Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.
Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.
Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?
Drix: No.
Stan: There's been a PI at the shark pool.
Jordan: PI?
Stan: Puking incident. Some kid puked all over the shark pool. Anyway, I need you to clean it up for me right away. A.S.A.P.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Julius Ceasar: When Alexander the Great was ten years younger than I am today, he had conquered the entire civilized world.
Vercingetorix: At your age, he was dead.
Julius Ceasar: All the more reason to hurry.
C.W.: Are you going to take your coat off? It hasn't rained in this apartment in 20 years.
Lee: Why am I here? I'm just confused. I mean, after all, you did fire me last week, so why am I here?
Dave: I brought you here to see the new Hal Weidmann film.
Iris: I'm a wonderful housekeeper. I got divorced three times, and I kept all the houses.
Mrs. Berman: What do you think, Elwood? Do you like the new chair?
Ray Elwood: Can you sit on it, ma'am?
Mrs. Berman: No, of course you can't sit on it, it's an antique.
Ray Elwood: Oh, well, it's very nice.
Ray: I ought to go and see Sue. Y'know? While I'm still... before... Mind you, I haven't spoken to Sue for... I can't think how many years. You can't blame her for that though. Not really. That was more me, I think. I just stopped writing one day. Y'know how it is... things just stop. Then it seems too long to start 'em again.
Jane Livingstone: Neutrality does not exist in the face of murder. Doing nothing to stop it is, in fact, choosing. It is not being neutral.
Darby Reese: Beau-Beau, she's a mother, not a moron.
Ash: Sorry I messed up the room.
Game Master: Don't worry. Everyone has days like that.
Henry: Oh, fuck my cock.
Elizabeth: If only my life could be more like the movies. I want an angel to swoop down to me like he does to Jimmy Stewart in "It's a Wonderful Life" and talk me out of suicide. I've always waited for that one moment of truth to set me free and change my life forever. But he won't come. It doesn't happen that way.
Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.