Carmen Naranjo: Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?.. It's so that all the five senses are involved. We touch the glass. We smell the drink. We see its color. We taste it. Hearing is the only sense that doesn't participate unless we create it.
Tenley: You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?
Ryan: No.
Tenley: Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.
Ryan: No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.
Tenley: No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.
Ryan: Five bucks says you can't.
Tenley: You got it.
Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Courtney Oakley: What kind of daughter are you?
Nicole: Not yours.
Courtney Oakley: Thank god for that.
Al: So did you tell her who's boss?
C.W.: Is she kidding, talking to me like that? It's 'cause she thinks she's smarter... you know, 'cause she graduated from Vassar and I went to driving school.
Kelly: Are you crying?
Berke Landers: No, you're squeezing my puncture wound.
Neighbor: Hey, shutup down there.
Gordon: I'm covered in ca-ca.
Amy Mandell: The primary difference between a man and a woman is that man gets his self-esteem when a woman says yes and a women gets hers when she says no.
Julius Ceasar: When Alexander the Great was ten years younger than I am today, he had conquered the entire civilized world.
Vercingetorix: At your age, he was dead.
Julius Ceasar: All the more reason to hurry.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Jade: I'm getting hives just from being around these ugly people.
Brad: I think you should sound like, a normal person... from the heart! From... the... heart.
Ifty: From the heart.
Sam: This argh okay hello thank you for calling this is Saaaaaaaam.
Ifty: Wow.
Brad: I feel that was a very thouching moment right there.
Ifty: I, I, I, I felt that one.
Sam: High five.
All: High five.
Ted: We're all time's captives, hostages to eternity.
Bobby: Ben Jonson?
Ted: No, Boris Pasternak. He was a Russian of no account, I think.
Emil Slovak: I can kill you - I'm insane.
Melanie Ballard: Well, introduce us to your friends.
Desolation Williams: These are my compadres, Uno, Dos and Tres.
Melanie Ballard: Uno must be the nice one.
Uno: You got that right, butchy. I'm not as nice as Desolation. And I'll cut your fucking titties off.
Erika Kohut: Do you like me calling you darling?
Walter Klemmer: It's absolutely marvelous.
Erika Kohut: You must be patient. I'll give you all the names, we'll play all the games you want.
Walter Klemmer: You know you really stink? Sorry, you stink so much, no-one will ever come close to you. You'd be better leave town until you don't stink so bad. Rinse your mouth more often, not just when my cock makes you puke.
Lance Barton: I got roaches. Who here got roaches?
Man in Audience: Everybody got roaches, man. It's Harlem.
Daryl Chase: How you supposed to run a successful business, you ain't got no Schlitz Malt Liquor! You ain't representin'! You ain't keepin' it real.
Helen: Who do you have to blow to get some fucking pussy around here!