Rahul Chadha: I just fell from grace.
Saroj Rai: My darling, you have to be standing up in order to be able to fall. I mean, if you keep sitting on your ass, nothing's gonna happen. "Only brave warriors fall off their horses in battle. How can kneeling cowards know what a fall is?" Listen sweetheart, the main thing is, you have to fight the battle.
Eugene Irwin: Now let me get this straight. You mean there is violence here?
Doc: Yes sir.
Eugene Irwin: In a prison packed with violent criminals? Hmm.
Tima: I am who?
Offscreen voice: THAT'S A huge bitch.
George: I'm really great at what I do, Dad. I mean I'm really great at what I do.
Fred Jung: Let me tell you something, George: you'd have been great at anything.
Murphy: Ever been to Reno? Get your bubble gum.
Charisse Slocumb: Bernice Talbot? My-my husband done did it wit' that child in that "Shop-Well" parking lot? lord take ME NOW.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: No need to play the blame game here, Allison. No harm, no foul. Suffice it to say that we're all very appreciative of the discovery made by Dr. Kane and Mr. Black.
Harry Block: Block.
Max: I'll see you, uh, bassoon.
Enrico Pollini: Am I too late-a? Look I won a coin, a gold coin-a, isn't it wonderful? Look at this room, what a beautiful room, have you seen this room?
Randy Pear: Yes! We're IN it.
William: Father, I am afraid, I won't know the way back home.
John Thatcher: Don't be foolish, William, you just follow your feet.
Jimmy: Is he gonna be cool?
Pinky: My motherfucker's so cool, when he goes to bed, sheep count him.
Jay: In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank us!
Trucky: You can't beat a ho with a belt... they like that shit.
Matt: Would you like a falafel with that?
Joe Dirt: So, you're gonna tell me, that you don't have no black cats, no Roman candles, or screamin' mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You don't got no lady fingers, buzz bottles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zip-a-dee-do-dahs, crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don't.
Joe Dirt: You're gonna stand there, owning a firework stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honker lighters, huskers dus, husker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy dazers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whisking kitty chaser?
Carmen Cortez: Spy work, that's easy. Keeping a family together, that's difficult. And that's the mission worth fighting for.