The Cat Lady: What the hell did you bring into my house?
Shanté Smith: Hmm, men. They like a woman in public...and a freak in private.
Paulie: Mouse, where is your father? Did I see you cry? Did you cry like a girl? Like a girly, girly girl? I've been crying, too, Mary B. I've been crying like a girly girl, sucky suck for weeks now! And it's time... it's time for the raptor... Are you with me? I hate my father! Say it, it's easy... come on... Say I hate MY father.
Carmen Cortez: Spy work, that's easy. Keeping a family together, that's difficult. And that's the mission worth fighting for.
Oz: All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? You find a girl. You two become best friends. And you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. You just laugh at the people that do count.
Stifler: Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.
Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder.
Jimmy Mitchelson: He wants to marry his sister.
Freddy: He better not come back.
Jimmy Mitchelson: Yeah, that's right, or we'll tie you to a tree, fuck you in the ass while we jerk you off. Show you what we really do to perverts around here.
Henry Denton: Who is it?
Lottie: Oh, I'm ever so sorry, sir.
Henry Denton: Sorry for what?
Lottie: I'm supposed to get the fire lit without waking you.
Henry Denton: Why does everyone treat me as if I were one of these stupid snobs? I spent half the week downstairs with all of you.
Lottie: You can't be on both teams at once, sir.
Elle: And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
Lawrence Musgrove: I've always believed that a portrait captures a person far better than a photograph. It truly takes a human being to really see a human being.
Team Evil Coach Hung: Those American drugs work better than expected.
Jamal: Courage is not the absence of fear. It is the presence of fear, but the will to move on.
Prof. Dad Brody: Who do you think kidnapped us, Uraguay or Chad?
Eugene Irwin: Now let me get this straight. You mean there is violence here?
Doc: Yes sir.
Eugene Irwin: In a prison packed with violent criminals? Hmm.
Rahul Chadha: I just fell from grace.
Saroj Rai: My darling, you have to be standing up in order to be able to fall. I mean, if you keep sitting on your ass, nothing's gonna happen. "Only brave warriors fall off their horses in battle. How can kneeling cowards know what a fall is?" Listen sweetheart, the main thing is, you have to fight the battle.
Offscreen voice: THAT'S A huge bitch.
Tima: I am who?
Murphy: Ever been to Reno? Get your bubble gum.
George: I'm really great at what I do, Dad. I mean I'm really great at what I do.
Fred Jung: Let me tell you something, George: you'd have been great at anything.