Spencer Olham: They're wrong about me, I've done nothing wrong, I'm a good man.
Julius Ceasar: When Alexander the Great was ten years younger than I am today, he had conquered the entire civilized world.
Vercingetorix: At your age, he was dead.
Julius Ceasar: All the more reason to hurry.
Iris: I'm a wonderful housekeeper. I got divorced three times, and I kept all the houses.
Cowboy: There's sometimes a buggy. How many drivers does a buggy have?
Adam Kesher: One.
Cowboy: So, let's just say I'm driving this buggy. And, if you fix your attitude, you can ride along with me.
Casares: Stay by my side as my light grows dim /as my blood slows down and my nerves shatter with stabbing pain / as my heart grows weak / and the wheels of my being turn slowly / Stay by my side /as my fragile body is racked by pain /which verges on truth / and manic time continues scattering dust / and furious life bursts out in flames. Stay by my side / as I fade / so you can point to the end of my struggle /and the twilight of eternal days / at the low, dark edge of life.
Kevin Gibbons: Single White Male seeks commuter on train to share intimate secrets.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon.
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.
Katie: Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is like, *cut*. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll be a different story when I'm ready to get married, but right now, I am entirely about sex. I just wanna get laid. I just wanna take him and grab him and fuck his brains out, ya know? So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.
Erika Kohut: Do you like me calling you darling?
Walter Klemmer: It's absolutely marvelous.
Erika Kohut: You must be patient. I'll give you all the names, we'll play all the games you want.
Walter Klemmer: You know you really stink? Sorry, you stink so much, no-one will ever come close to you. You'd be better leave town until you don't stink so bad. Rinse your mouth more often, not just when my cock makes you puke.
Ian: You know when you're with someone there's only a very short time when you can really give each other things for free... with neither of you having to ask. Because later on all you do is make demands of each other. Perhaps the only difference between her and all the rest is that she's asking you for nothing.
Beryl Mason: I think of sex as a language and I'm fluent in it. You? Well, for you it's... a second language.
Jules Myers: You know they say people make their own luck.
Rebecca: That's stupid! Why would anyone make luck that bad?
Akash Malhotra: Dad, there is more to life than just signing checks.
Akash's father: Really... What is that?
Akash Malhotra: I don't know, but as soon as I do, you will be the first to know.
Dr. Haverston: There is no grade on this kind of test.
Maurice 'Momo': We were here in the 80's to watch the Russians. I can't tell you the trouble we made.
Hubert Fiorentini: That's right you can't, now try to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes.
Ed Crane: And through it all, we cut the hair.
The Man with the Scar: Playing truant are we? Off to meet some human rights agitator?
Chiyoko Fujiwara: I don't understand.
The Man with the Scar: We know it's you. He left you a little memento on the storeroom wall.
Chiyoko Fujiwara: He did?
The Man with the Scar: That's all we need to know. We'll continue at the station.