President Stone: The house of the Lord is a house of order. There are forms for these things.
Akash Malhotra: Dad, there is more to life than just signing checks.
Akash's father: Really... What is that?
Akash Malhotra: I don't know, but as soon as I do, you will be the first to know.
Lisa Connelly: The hitman needs a ride.
Admiral Reigart: Let's go get our boy back.
Joseph: Cram it, failure.
Hipolito, The Writer: Failed writer, failed life... I love the word "fail." Failure is human destiny.
Joseph: It's gasbag time.
Hipolito, The Writer: Failure teaches us that life is but a draft, a long rehearsal for a show that will never play.
Joseph: I bet he stole that.
Hipolito, The Writer: I do have some original ideas, but people always steal them.
Hipolito, The Writer: Same as your women.
Joseph: Meaning?
Hipolito, The Writer: You'd better get used to it.
Bernard: For a country that doesn't give its citizens the right to bear arms, there have been an unusual number of people getting shot, lately.
Big John Harrigan: And if I was a spy, what would you think of me then?
Howie: Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.
Febre the Man in Black: What if I absolutely must kill someone?
Cardinal Richelieu: Well, if you must, you must.
Darby Reese: Beau-Beau, she's a mother, not a moron.
Abby: I can't get next to you.
Kevin Gibbons: Excuse me?
Abby: "I'm So Tired of Being Alone" is a great Al Green song, but "I Can't Get Next To You" sounds a little more appropriate.
Kevin Gibbons: Why?
Abby: Because... I can't get next to you.
Vincent: What's your name?
Spike: Spike... Spiegel.
Vincent: I'll meet you at the end of this world.
Mary: Oh my God, you castrated him.
Billy: It's women that's shaped like leaves, and men fall.
Bob: What do you play?
Romulus Ledbetter: My skull.
Cyrus: Apparently, stubbornness is an ingrained family trait.
Rudy Cafmeyer: It beats a messiah complex any day.
Doctor: Forceps. Pliers. Bone nibblers.
Steve Meyers: Bone nibblers? What the hell are bone nibblers?
Doctor: You're a very lucky man.
Steve Meyers: Oh yes, it's been a brilliant day all round. Why don't you have a look at my prostate while you've got the bone nibblers handy.
Vincent: No one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. You move that line as you see fit for yourself. No one else can. You'll understand soon... that the one that's insane is this world. Do you want to come with me? The only ones left will be you and me.
Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me.
Kitty: What a lucky girl.