Bobby Boucher: Now that's what I call high quality H2O.
Mama Boucher: I don't want you talkin' to no girls. Girls are the devil!
Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.
Guy Grenouille: Nice going, shithead. You lost us the football game.
Bobby Boucher: Sorry. Will you please still be my friend?
Guy Grenouille: No, get away from me.
Walter: Let's kick some names and take some ass.
Mama Boucher: Bobby, deh ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?
Bobby Boucher: No Mama, the search continues.
Dan Fouts: The waterboy just needed some water.
Brent Musburger: Wow Dan, did you come up with that all by yourself?
Dan Fouts: Shut up, Brent.
Dan Fouts: Last game of the year Brent, can't hold anything back now.
Brent Musburger: I know.
Dan Patrick: In the Mud Dogs latest loss this past Saturday, the amazing 31-year old freshman set a new NCAA record by sacking the quarterback 16 times, shattering the old record of 7.
Coach Klein: [Drinking Bobby's water] This is good. This is much better than what I serve.
Bobby Boucher: [Seeing the nasty water] That is the water that you serve to your players? It is imperative that you allow me to be your Waterboy.
Coach Klein: I can't hire you. I can't hire anybody. We're the poorest...
Bobby Boucher: You do not have to pay me. I will do it for free. Just promise me that you will never distribute the contents of that jug to any human person.
Bobby Boucher: And she showed me her boobies, and I like them too!
Guy Grenouille: Needledick, Needledick, Needledick.
Bobby Boucher: Look who's on TV, Mama... it's the devil.
Bobby Boucher: Nice hit, Mama.
Mama Boucher: Thanks, baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin' a man.
Mama Boucher: Are men supposed to wear pyjamas featuring a cartoon character by the name of Deputy Dawg?
Townie: You can do it... you can do it all night loong.
Bobby Boucher: So that's what opening up a can of whoop-ass feels like.
Coach Klein: Son, you just opened up a whole case of whoop-ass.
Lawrence Taylor: Gentlemen, which brings me to my next point. Don't smoke crack.
Answer: Didn't see the movie, but I looked up the specifications for the John Deere model 200 on TractorData. It was the first of the series and manufactured from 1975-1976. It had a Kohler one-cylinder 305cc 8 HP 4-cycle engine that runs on regular gas and a surprising maximum speed in 4th gear of 7 miles per hour! No one seems to rate lawn tractor MPGs, but similar-sized engines running generators at full load might use about 3/4 to 1 gallon per hour. So, he should be able to go at least 3 and 1/2 hours on a tank, or about 25 miles. He could fill up at a gas station without having to add oil to the gas.