Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you. The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.
Einon: The peasants are revolting!
Brok: The peasants have always been revolting, my Prince, but now they are rebelling.
Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.
Kate Reilly: Who named them graboids anyway?
Earl Bassett: A friend of ours, Walter Chang, he named them. Then they ate him.
Giant Santa: I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.
Alexia: Today is definitely day one.
Hayley: Day one of what?
Alexia: My diet. Oh, excuse me. I mean your diet. A fruit and veggie fast. You're bloated.
Hayley: What are you talking about? I'm a knockout. Make-up may be a bit heavy. Not me.
Louis: Men love to hate. It's what separates us from the females of the spieces. It's the natural law in Wild America.
Rizzo: What's wrong?
Gonzo: It just feels so weird.
Rizzo: You mean that Mr. Arrow's dead?
Gonzo: Yeah, that... And my pants are filled with starfish.
Rizzo: You and your hobbies.
Hana: There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.
Almásy: Why? Can he lay eggs?
Hana: He's Canadian.
Almásy: Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street? Did you invite him to live with you?
Chance: Jamie? Is that you? Wait, what am I talking about? Of course, it's you! It's really you! I found you! I found my boy! I found my Jamie! Oh, I'm so happy! Oh, I could just lick you for days! Give me a hug.
Monty Johnson: This ain't right, Doyle. There is something wrong with you.
Doyle: Get the fuck out.
Monty Johnson: Nobody wants to take this shit, Man.
Hawthorne: I wouldn't have thought bravery would be a problem for you.
Charles Remington: Well, you hope each time it won't be... But you never really know.
Laura Lizzie: Ow! You pulled my hair out.
Sarah: Sorry, I thought I saw a bug. They have shampoo for that, you know.
Laura Lizzie: Stupid bitch.
Benny Dalmau: What would you do if I kissed ya?
Gina Cardinale: You're out of your mind Benny. You should take more drugs.
Shad: You talk to her?
Erin Grant: Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.
Shad: You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.
Erin Grant: I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.
Tony Two Toes: We're from the local 129th, sonny.
Mikey: We heard you was loading a ship without the assistance of bonefide union labor. Say it ain't so.
Dammers: Sheriff! You are violating my territorial bubble.
Captain Christopher "Skipper" Sheldon: Nothing happens on this ship that I don't know about. She speaks to me in the night. So don't test me, not even a little.