Steve Dodds: [After hitting Drake with his car] Oh! Oh! Buddy, are you ok?
Drake Sabitch: I'm not that far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust.
Steve: You should work up to that. Kinda leaves you nowhere to go.
Drake: I can go to your mamma's and start a small fire in her panties. Now, are you ready to get out of the car?
[Chris Farley gets his tie stuck in the trunk of the old couple.]
Old man: He must be hopped up on crack cocaine!
Governor Tracy: Now you'll have to tell me your name so I know who to make the check out to.
Clyde: My best friends call me Cash.
Mike Donnelly: [On the phone] Every guy's got his dream, am I right? Between you, me, and the wall here, I had a doozy of one myself last night. Get this. A corn-fed harvest mouse, a hooker, a nun, a Flemish peasant woman, whips, chains, whistles, yo-yos, a circus midget, my grandmother riding by on a bicycle giving me the finger, and a duck. Now, I don't know. Are you crying? Oh, my lord. I am sorry, honey. Please don't cry, could you get your daddy on the phone?
Mike Donnelly: How ya doing, buddy? Transporting a prisoner. 12th precinct up in Buckley Town. My sergeant didn't give me any overtime, so I'm trying to do it lickety-split.
Motorcycle Cop: Tell me, officer, do you have any idea how fast you were going?
Mike: Well. I got a 426 hemi in her, 3/4 cams, nitro boosters. I can get her up to as good as 155. Never do though of course, unless I'm chasing a cute chick in a Ferrari. Hahahahaha. I guess I was going about 65, tops.
Motorcycle Cop: Seven! Seven miles an hour! And normally when I stop people they pull onto the shoulder.
Steve Dodds: Are you or are you not the black angel of death?
Mike Donnelly: Without question.
Steve: Don't agree with me. It just pisses me off more.
Mike: And so he says, "Rectum? Damn near killed'em!"
Mike: We've all been screwed by Governor Tracy, and now, I'm going to screw her.
Mike: Horse shit.
Answer: A major police department would probably not allow modifications to an official vehicle, even if it was assigned permanently to a particular officer, due to safety or insurance concerns. That said, many departments do use high performance or exotic vehicles seized during crimes under various forfeiture laws. Most times these are for promotional purposes, but I do know of a Florida department that used a souped-up Dodge Hemi-Charger painted in standard department livery for traffic enforcement.