Alexia: Today is definitely day one.
Hayley: Day one of what?
Alexia: My diet. Oh, excuse me. I mean your diet. A fruit and veggie fast. You're bloated.
Hayley: What are you talking about? I'm a knockout. Make-up may be a bit heavy. Not me.
Louis: Men love to hate. It's what separates us from the females of the spieces. It's the natural law in Wild America.
Shad: You talk to her?
Erin Grant: Darrell's phone's disconnected. I think he moved again.
Shad: You know, I'd embrace the opportunity to maim his white ass up.
Erin Grant: I know you would, and that's really thoughtful, but I don't think it would help my case in court if I had him attacked.
Bill Clinton: In recognition of your great service, I'm appointing you honorary agents in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
Butt-head: Whoa. Alcohol and tobacco?
Beavis: Yeah. And firearms! Yeah.
Bill Clinton: Cool, huh?
Butt-head: Cigarettes and beer kick ass.
Beavis: Yeah, yeah. We're in the bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. And maybe some chicks, too.
Eamon de Valera: The Irish people established the Irish Republic. It can only be disestablished by the Irish people.
Elise: I'm not Monique's Mother.
Maurice: No.
Elise: Angela Lansbury's Monique's Mother.
Maurice: Uh-huh.
Elise: Shelley Winters is Unique's mother.
Maurice: Now that's a good one.
Elise: Sean Connery is Monique's mother.
Maurice: And I'm going to get you some coffee.
Frollo: Captain Phoebus, arrest her.
Jan Nyman: Love is a mighty power, isn't it?
Margo Masse: Do yourself a favor and don't think so much. It gives you premature wrinkles.
Xander Drax: All right, what's your name? Why do you want that skull so badly?
Kit Walker: Kit Walker.
Xander Drax: Huh, and who is Kit Walker?
Kit Walker: I am.
Xander Drax: And what about the skull?
Kit Walker: It'd go well with my drapes.
Anthony: Which part of Mexico are you from?
Inez: Paraguay.
Mayor John Pappas: Lyndon Johnson said, "Everybody will give you ideas on how to get out of trouble cheaply and fast. And they all come down to this: deny your responsibility." John F. Kennedy said, "An error doesn't have to become a mistake, until you refuse to correct it."
Bonnie: George Malley! You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?
George Malley: Not all of it.
Dr. Michael Reynolds: Why don't you grow some pubic hair, junior.
Brandon 'Blue' Monroe: I got pubic hair, asshole. It's the one place I got hair left.
Janet Venable: Fuck him.
Martin Vail: Fuck him?
Janet Venable: Fuck you! Thanks a lot.
Freddie: Time is like an orange. It's round. It repeats itself. Everything happens for a reason.
Mr. Preston: What else don't I know?
Marty Preston: What?
Mr. Preston: You hidin' Judd's dog and never lettin' on. What else you keepin' from me?
Marty Preston: Nothin', Dad.
Mr. Preston: Well how do I know that's not another lie?
Marty Preston: 'Cause it's not.
Mr. Preston: Oh yeah, well your sayin' so don't make it true, not now. And that's the problem with lyin'.