Hana: There's a man downstairs. He brought us eggs. He might stay.
Almásy: Why? Can he lay eggs?
Hana: He's Canadian.
Almásy: Why are people always so happy when they collide with someone from the same place? What happened in Montreal when you passed a man in the street? Did you invite him to live with you?
Nancy: You know, in the old days, if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her.
Grace Winterbourne: How did I ever raise such a snob?
Bill Winterbourne: It's a mystery Mother... let's ask the servants.
Sgt. Bilko: It's the odometer Wally, it says 12,000 miles and it should say 11,000 miles. Tony here drove it to Lake Tahoe over the weekend to go to his grandmother's funeral.
Walter Holbrook: Oh, I'm sorry, Tony.
Sgt. Bilko: When I say "go to his grandmother's funeral", I mean visit his niece. And when I say "niece", I mean lady friend. Look. I'm winking. Look at my eye.
Mitchell Kane: Are you happy with your deal with Sultan?
Johnny Winsor: Happy? I'd sooner be turked by a syphilitic bear.
Mitchell Kane: T-turked? Turked? What is turked?
Johnny Winsor: Rectally relieved.
Ron Albertson: If there's an empty space, just fill it with a line, that's what I like to do. Even if it's from another show.
Frollo: Captain Phoebus, arrest her.
Jan Nyman: Love is a mighty power, isn't it?
Margo Masse: Do yourself a favor and don't think so much. It gives you premature wrinkles.
Kau's Man: The girl attacked King Kau.
Inspector 'Rock' Shek: The girl? What are you? Crazy? Whoever attacked King Kau wants to take his business. Get lost.
Hyena-Swine: Tell me, why you make the pain, if we are your children.
Lee Woods: You have one minute to decide the rest of your life.
Det. Stone: Any time you need me, give me a call. It's Stone, as in Sharon.
Riggi: Hey, clown boy! Get off my street.
Christopher Dubois: Wait a minute.
Riggi: Hey, Dubois, what are you sick in the head or something? Please, grow up, go get yourself some new and nice clothes and come to work for me.
Christopher Dubois: I don't work for nobody.
Riggi: It's too bad, Dubois, it's too bad, you're a wasted talent, but nuts case, you know that. Suit yourself.
Peter: Religion is nonsense.
Ben Rosen: It's also a gold mine if you know where to dig.
Dosmo Pizzo: How did you find me?
Lee Woods: In the phone book under Washout.
Benjamin Trace: I came to save you, Job.
Job: In here, I am the savior.
Alain Moreau: This is not your lucky day. Tell your boss to leave me the fuck alone.