Lt. Jack Cole: Listen, um, I want you to deliver a message for me. You tell your asshole boss that nobody, nobody threatens me.
Donald Cunningham: I understand. I'll convey your feelings to Mr. Deverell.
Lt. Jack Cole: Now get your ugly white ass outta here and don't come back.
Jim Campbell: Look, why don't we just get you some red boots and a cape, so you can fly around the city and stop ALL the crime.
Jack Cole: It's called a mala. Tibetan pray beads.
Jim Campbell: What do you use 'em for?
Jack Cole: I use 'em to calm my mind and to purify my thoughts.
Jim Campbell: Yeah, I use Jack Daniels.
Jack Cole: See now, we're trying to go to same place. We're just using different technique.
Jim Campbell: Except I don't wear the bottle around my neck.
Jack Cole: That's because you'd lose your job if you did.
Jack Cole: Once and a while you should cry because it cleanses the soul and you can use a little bit of that.
Jim Campbell: If I need a cleansing, I'll have a bran muffin.
Jim Campbell: What would cause something like that?
Coroner: What am I? The Amazing Randi? We have tests to run. It will take time.
Jim Campbell: Have you seen Casablanca?
Jack Cole: You're asking me, have I seen Casablanca?
Jim Campbell: Have you?
Jack Cole: A guy like me, not seen Casablanca?
Jim Campbell: Well have you?
Jack Cole: No.
Jack Cole: You know, when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I think you're probably happy. Pleased at what you see. And that disturbs me. So I'm gonna take it on as my responsibility to make sure that you never get to look in the mirror again.
Donald Cunningham: I woke up happy, I'm goin' to bed happy. 'Cause you're gonna be dead.
