Quotes from Adam Sandler movies and TV shows - page 4 of 7

Dracula: You messed up, baby. You messed up big time. I told you to take it down. You'll ruin my hotel if they find out.
Jonathan: Well, maybe you're just jealous that people are finally having fun at this place.
Dracula: Oh, that? That was not fun. Everyone running, jumping, swimming with no order. That was the opposite of fun.
Jonathan: Do you even know what fun is?
Dracula: I invented fun.
Jonathan: Boy, the wrong people get to be immortal.

Dracula: Nauseating to meet you.

Frank: Maybe you'll find your own fireworks on the cruise.
Dracula: It's not the Love Boat, Frank.

Hubie Dubois: Can't believe I don't have a compass on my thermos.

Hubie Dubois: Say, Mr. Lambert, how old are you?
Walter Lambert: You mean in human years?
Hubie Dubois: Yes.
Walter Lambert: I don't really believe in keeping track of that kind of thing, Hubie. You know, age is just a state of mind.
Hubie Dubois: That's why I played T-ball till I was 25.

Chuck Levine: Going in alive.
Larry Valentine: Coming out the same way.

Larry Valentine: Chuck. What's going on, man?
Chuck Levine: Brace yourself, Larry. What I'm gonna tell you is pretty rough. They removed your entire body. You're nothing but a head now.
Larry Valentine: What?
Chuck Levine: They said that there was enough fat in your head to rebuild you a new body, so they got scientists in the other room working on it. God willing, you're gonna be all right.
Larry Valentine: Oh, you know, you're such a dick.

Asian Minister: Civil or religious?
Chuck Levine: Religious. I'm Jewish, I don't wanna piss my mother off.
Larry Valentine: I'm Catholic, I don't wanna piss Mel Gibson off.

Larry Valentine: Chuck, we really pulled this one out our asses.
Chuck Levine: Bad choice of words there, Larry. Bad choice of words.

Alex McDonough: You know, Larry's heavyset. Is that the kind of guy you've always been attracted to?
Chuck Levine: Ah no, he's my first fattie.
Alex McDonough: You guys really seem like you have a lot of sexual chemistry.
Chuck Levine: I float his boat and he sinks mine.

Chuck Levine: Oh my God, it's homo-palooza.

Chuck Levine: Let's go junior high on them.

Chuck Levine: Gay guys know how to dance good. It's like the law or some shit.

Jack Sadelstein: I can't believe this. This is insane, man! You gotta call him.
Jill Sadelstein: Oh, cool your buns. You know I'm still hurting the whole Funbucket fiasco.
Jack Sadelstein: No, but Pacino liked you! I swear to God, he really liked you.
Jill Sadelstein: Oh, will you stop already? You know all he wants to do is play Twister with your sister.

Jack: Are you Funbucket?
Funbucket: Yeah, that's me.
Jack: You don't look like a Funbucket. I was picturing someone more fun or buckety.
Funbucket: You're not the crazy, hot masseuse, are you? I want you to tell me right up front, cause if you are, I'm not paying for dinner.

Bishop73

Danny: You dropped your...
Joanna Damon: Can I sit for ten seconds without getting hit on?
Danny: I was just going to tell you you dropped your purse.

Fat Kid: Mommy! That man put his pee-pee on my face!
Danny: What? He put his face on my pee-pee!

Michael: Can we go to McFunnigan's?
Danny: How about Chuck E. Cheese because it's right down the street from my house?
Michael: You mention that place again, and I walk.

Mr. Beefy: Look, it's okay for me to shit in the street, but you gotta use a toilet.
Nicky: Okay.

Nicky: How can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.
Holly: Stronger? Yes. Smarter? Definitely. But, you have something that he doesn't have.
Nicky: A speech impediment?