Sammo

The Big Ripoff - S1-E8

Marilyn Polonski: Is there anything you won't do for money?
Jim Rockford: Well, there's two things. I won't kill for it and I won't marry for it. Other than that I'm open about anything. (00:34:30)

Sammo ★

Tall Woman in Red Wagon - S1-E6

Jim Rockford: I hope you'll accept my sincerest apologies, agent Stoner. Don't you worry, my insurance company is gonna cover all this. Here, let me see that. Oh, just a scratch! You're gonna be fine!
Harry Stoner: You are right on the tender age of getting thrown on Leavenworth. You should do yourself a big favor and think about what you say to me before you say it. Cos I am a man with absolutely no sense of humor. Smart mouths turn me off, and I am beginning to suspect YOU have a smart mouth.
Jim Rockford: You're right, you're right, I do. But I am working on changing that.
Harry Stoner: Good. Now where's my gun?
Jim Rockford: Right over there. Here, let me get it for you. I know right where I threw it. (00:24:30)

Sammo ★

Backlash of the Hunter - S1-E1

Nick Butler: You're a cop, huh?
Jim Rockford: No, what I am, sonny, is about 50 pounds heavier and one hell of a lot meaner, so you better straighten up your act. I don't think I like you. (00:16:15)

Sammo ★

The Countess - S1-E4

Snobbish woman: You know, Arnold thinks that we should spend the whole season in Europe, and I am beginning to think he's right. We did get to know quite a few titled people. LA is getting quite tacky...Did you met the Countess in Europe?
Jim Rockford: I met her at Marine Land.
Snobbish woman: Oh. Strange.
Jim Rockford: I run the hot dog concession next to the killer whale exhibit. The Countess loves my footlongs. I make 'em great. Lots of chili and hot mustard. Course I have a secret ya know: I pre-cook the hot dogs and wrap them in cellophane. That's the secret. Cellophane. Keeps 'em from getting tough.
Snobbish woman: Would you excuse me...[leaves disgusted] (00:09:00)

Sammo ★

This Case Is Closed - S1-E7

Jim Rockford: Oh, I don't know what's goin' on, but believe me I don't want any trouble.
Torrance Beck: You already got trouble. The only question is whether you're going to wake up tomorrow breathing air or dirt. (00:13:20)

Sammo ★

The Countess - S1-E4

Jim Rockford: You gotta trust somebody.
The Countess: And you're applying for the job. How sweet. (00:08:20)

Sammo ★

The Countess - S1-E4

Jim Rockford: We're all scared to death. I guess that's a penalty we pay for living in a world where all the price tags end in 99 cents and they sell mortuary plots on billboards next to the freeway. What you do is, just keep laughing. (00:48:30)

Sammo ★

Don't Eat the Snow in Hawaii - S1-E1

Higgins: Don't ruin my whisky with ice, I'm not a bloody American. (00:39:10)

Sammo ★

Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too - S1-E4

Magnum: I think I'm gonna have to run down this address.
Rick: This isn't exactly the high-rent district. If you go down there, I suggest you bring a gun or an alligator on a leash.
Magnum: Rick, I am looking for a schoolteacher, not a gorilla. (00:12:25)

Sammo ★

Smaller Than Life - S4-E3

Savannah: I really wish you'd reconsider. I can show you excitement like you have never known in your life.
Magnum: Savannah...
Savannah: You can watch me until you are completely confident...and then we'll do it together.
Magnum: We are not going to do it, at all.
Savannah: I like to do it face to face. It is so wonderful to watch your partner's expression with the heart pounding, the ears ringing, falling together through space until that moment when you body is jerked upward and shudders...
Magnum: Savannah...
Savannah: And your chute catches, and you float gently to the ground. (00:14:30)

Sammo ★

Texas Lightning - S2-E17

Magnum: I've had it with your complaints and your orders, and your commands, especially from someone who can't keep up.
Jeannie 'JL' Lowry: I can kill men with these hands.
Magnum: Why bother, when you can destroy them with that mouth? (00:25:30)

Sammo ★

Luther Gillis: File #521 - S4-E2

Magnum: Sure, it was dangerous but...I figured once I got to Artie himself he'd understand and help me find little Nancy. I'd appeal to his sense of compassion and humanity. And I'd also put a .45 to his head. (00:12:30)

Sammo ★

The Case of the Red-Faced Thespian - S4-E12

Marge Atherton: Great costume!
Magnum: Oh. This isn't a costume.
Nolan Atherton: Really? You wear that shirt in public? (00:08:35)

Sammo ★

The Black Orchid - S1-E16

Magnum: Do you think you can just admit you sent those goons after me and then just walk away? I don't believe you people. You're just incredible.
Wyndom Jackson: I didn't mean to have anything happen to you. I was just trying to scare you. I'm sorry they got carried away. Now, if that's not good enough for you, we can fight. You're younger than I am, stronger maybe, so you'd probably win. But I'm richer than you are, so in the end I'll beat ya. Now, why don't you just accept my apology? (00:38:00)

Sammo ★

Tropical Madness - S2-E6

Magnum: I know what you're thinking. I was thinking it too. In fact, when I write my private investigator manual, there'll be a chapter on "The Oldest Tricks in the World." Now, this had to be one of them. An anonymous tip? A mysterious meeting? The only trouble with the oldest tricks is, they usually work. (00:17:00)

Sammo ★

The Big Blow - S3-E21

Higgins: One moment, Magnum. I'm going to need you for the party.
Magnum: You're not going through with this?
Higgins: Magnum, Mr. Masters' Spring Equinox Weekend Party is one of the premier social events of the season. To miss it would be unthinkable.
Magnum: This hurricane that's brewing is also one of the premier events of the season. To miss it would be impossible! (00:04:00)

Sammo ★

Dead Man's Channel - S2-E2

Magnum: This was one of those days I wished I'd listened to my mother and studied to be an orthodontist. Looking into someone's mouth has gotta be better than staring death in the face. (00:44:40)

Sammo ★

Missing in Action - S1-E9

Magnum: Look, I gotta run. I'll see you this afternoon.
TC: Hey man, it's Friday, Thomas. I need the fifty bucks to buy a fuel pump for my chopper.
Magnum: Well, all I've got is a twenty.
TC: [sighs] A'ight man, that will do for right now.
Magnum: TC! You mean you'd let me drive out of here broke?
TC: Well that's the way you ALWAYS drive in! The money, Thomas.
Magnum: OK, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll loan you ten until this evening.
TC: You'll loan me ten? You owe me fifty!
Magnum: That's right, which I don't have, so I'll loan you ten to keep you afloat. You can pay me back! When I pay you the fifty.
TC: Whoa, whoa whoa. What's with this Abbott and Costello routine? You owe me fifty, you loan me ten? Forget it!
Magnum: Oh, ok! Thanks, I owe you one. [drives off]
TC: You owe me one? YOU OWE ME FIFTY! (00:19:20)

Sammo ★

Italian Ice - S2-E15

Margo Perina: Who's that?
Magnum: Oh, that...is a buddy of mine, and he sometimes flies tourists over the estate, to see what famous person might be sunbathing naked on the beach.
Margo Perina: Oh, I'm not famous or naked.
Magnum: Well, you will be. Famous. (00:29:25)

Sammo ★

No Need to Know - S1-E5

Mandy, the Flight Attendant: I'd love a chance to see what you do in action.
Magnum: I don't whip off my glasses and run into the phone booth, if that's what you mean.
Higgins: Not if it's a pay phone, anyway. (00:10:30)

Sammo ★