John du Pont: Horses are stupid. Horses eat and shit. That's all they do. It's very silly. It's all very silly.
Darcy Anderson: I think I've seen you. Have you been here before?
Holt Ramsey: According to the hindus, we all have.
Prof. Edgar Solomon: A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit, "Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?" "Of course not," said the hare, "It's really quite rare," so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. There once was a lady named Dot who lived off pig shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese... that she grew on the sides... of her twat.
Kyle: Are you in a crack house?
Meghan: Yes! That's what I've been trying to tell you.
Jim Bob: All right, boys, it's Howdy Doody time.
Moses: Remember this. I am prepared to fight. For eternity.
Proculus: You're brave, I'll give you that, but no savage can ever be a match for a Roman.
Zach Orfman: Oh, everything's great. Beth's alive and it was all just one big hoax. So, just forget about it.
Judy Orfman: Well, I don't think that's funny.
Zach Orfman: Yeah, well, I don't either.
Kat Connor: I miss fucking you.
Nick Cave: To act on a bad idea is better than to not act at all, because the worth of the idea never becomes apparent until you do it.
Chairman: Mr. Evans fits the criteria of a malignant narcissist. Acts of rage frequently involving the attentions of a woman. There's violence in this man.
Dr. Ross: Your parole is denied.
Raven: Hell, I might even fuck George Clooney - with a strap-on.
Bilbo Baggins: One day I'll remember. Remember everything that happened: the good, the bad, those who survived... And those that did not.
Josh Wheaton: Only a real risk can test the reality of a belief.
Buster Matthews: Do you know why they call me Buster?
Beaser: 'Cause you're stupid enough to let them?
The Babadook: You can bring me the boy.
Jami: It was crazy of me to think I could help the police, but I'm going to keep researching, keep writing, there are stories that need to be told, so.