Ucok: You apologize! In their language, in our land! Where is your honor?
Caeryn: We must hurry! This country is unsafe at night.
Dagen: At night? I can hardly imagine anything worse than this country during the day.
Jim Bennett: I could stand here, stark naked, and I could yell AS loud AS I want, and nobody would care.
Alice: To be no good at something bad is good.
Sarchie: You see, Father, as we speak every day, out there, someone's getting hurt, ripped off, murdered, raped. Where's God when all that's happening? Hmm?
Mendoza: In the hearts of people like you, who put a stop to it. I mean, we can talk all night about the problem of evil, but what about the problem of good? I mean, if there's no God, if the world is just "survival of the fittest," then why are all the men in this room willing to lay down their lives for total strangers? Hmm?
Jim Bob: All right, boys, it's Howdy Doody time.
Sheriff McDowell: The logging barons always cry "jobs" and "free enterprise," but the truth is, you barely pay enough to put food on the table.
Pemberton: Oh, we pay more than any job these men can get, and that's why there's a line fifty-deep every time there's an opening.
Sheriff McDowell: Openings? Yes, you always have openings, don't you, Mr. Pemberton? Because your camps have killed more men than the war between the States.
Sandra: I don't exist. I'm nothing. Nothing at all.
Prof. Edgar Solomon: A bear taking a dump asked a rabbit, "Does shit stick to your fur as a habit?" "Of course not," said the hare, "It's really quite rare," so the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit. There once was a lady named Dot who lived off pig shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese... that she grew on the sides... of her twat.
Jamie Wellerstein: Did you call your agent.
Cathy Hiatt: He's on a retreat.
Jamie Wellerstein: What the hell is an agent retreat?
Cathy Hiatt: I don't know, they go into the woods and sacrifice actresses to breed more agents.
Connor: Hope's a necessity where I come from.
James Brown: Are we done, Mr. Byrd?
Bobby Byrd: I'm afraid not, Mr. Brown.
James Brown: I say, are we done?
Bobby Byrd: I think we got more funk in the trunk.
Raven: Hell, I might even fuck George Clooney - with a strap-on.
Nolan Mack: People leave, you know? But for some people, it just doesn't seem fair.
Zach Orfman: Oh, everything's great. Beth's alive and it was all just one big hoax. So, just forget about it.
Judy Orfman: Well, I don't think that's funny.
Zach Orfman: Yeah, well, I don't either.
Denis: Like Godzilla says to Mothra man, let's go eat some place.
Mia Hall: Isn't it amazing how life is one thing and then, in an instant it becomes something else. Like here I am, Mia, the girl who thinks about the cello and Adam, and whether I get a stupid letter or not, and just like that.