Best comedy movie quotes of 2012

April: Oh, my God, my ass is killing this cat.

Debbie: I don't want to shop at old lady stores. I don't want to go to J. Jill and Chico's and Ann Taylor.

Aaron Wiseberger: I went to community college, and that was only because my grandma was sleeping with the dean.

Sean: Told you it'd work.
Hank: You were right. I can't believe we made it.
Sean: It's Jules Verne, man. You gotta believe.

Cam Brady: My heart is pounding. Like a phone book in a dryer.

Dennis Dupree: This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke.

Carlos: They shot my motherfucking maid.

Deputy Fallon: Bring me my legs.

Jacky Bonnot: I can make it beef bourguignon?
Nurse: In two, three years.
Jacky Bonnot: Why is it taking so long?
Nurse: It's a baby.

Kenneth: I really like your intensity. You're, like, no nonsense.
Darius: Well, there's no sense in nonsense. Especially when the heat's on.

Curtis: Here. You want to take that one down to the basement, dude? I'm coming with you. Let's go.
Finn: [Hearing the statement Alexis made earlier] "People get really good deals if they find, like, a dead body in the basement". The basement level in Dragons and Warriors is a prison filled with ghosts.
Curtis: Yeah, well, the basement in a real life is just a basement. You can do it. (00:07:56)

KeyZOid

Jerry: I see New York. I see Vienna Opera House. I see Paris.
Phyllis: All in the shower?
Jerry: Yes. They love it that he sings in the shower. They identify. You know, he's going to be the most popular opera singer in the world.
Phyllis: Certainly the cleanest.

Armando: Let him die. He's missing a hand anyway.

Jed: Hang on, Social Services.

Mike Martingano: I have, like, $13,000 saved.
Paige: Wow. That's a lot of ones.
Mike Martingano: There are some fives in there.
Paige: Oh, ok. No twenties?
Mike Martingano: Oh, you don't wanna know what I have to do for twenties.

Becky: This is all fucked up. I'm gonna walk in wearing my pajamas like I'm fucking Michael Jackson.

James Washington: Remember me? The moon spook you turned into a snowflake?

Mr. Rzykruski: Science is not good or bad, Victor. But it can be used both ways. That is why you must always be careful.

Philip: What are you trained as?
Ida: Trained as? I'm not a dog.

Faith: I'm starting to think this is the most spiritual place I've ever been.