
Wendy: I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. Well, I'm calling it - pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions.

Jim Green: Have a great day.
Cindy Green: That's too much pressure.
Jim Green: Have the day you have.

Dave: I was adopted. I never knew my real dad. You could be my dad for all I know. Are you my dad?

Artie Decker: I'm awkward around those kids. I don't think they like me.

Calvin Weir-Fields: I have you. I don't need anyone else.
Ruby Sparks: That's a lot of pressure.

Marty Streb: If you're gonna lose, then I'm gonna help you lose. Deal?
Scott Voss: Deal. Let's do this. Let's lose.

Chris: If the caravan's rockin', don't come a-knockin'.

Mike: Feelings are like kids. You don't want them driving the car, but you don't want to stuff them in the trunk, either.

Zibby: So, what was your major?
Jesse Fisher: I was English, with a minor in history, just to make sure I was fully unemployable.

Steve Stifler: Ladies, you'd better be working hard - you weren't hired for your looks. Actually you were. Not you.