Lula: We got the whole good cop/bad cop thing going on; except we're hookers.
Cam Brady: My heart is pounding. Like a phone book in a dryer.
Aubrey Miller: So this girl Jane, she doesn't like you back?
Dave Hodgman: She does... platonically. As a friend.
Aubrey Miller: Oh, I know what platonically means. I'm a junior, not a moron.
Katie: I have a really important announcement. I lost my cell phone, and the last time I saw it, was back there, and I just feel like somebody took it.
Debbie: I don't want to shop at old lady stores. I don't want to go to J. Jill and Chico's and Ann Taylor.
Joyce Brewster: I wasn't meant to be with Andy Margolis. You see? I was meant to meet him, but I was meant to marry your father. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have had you. Don't you see, Andy? It was always you. You're the love of my life, baby. It will always be you.
Frank: The human brain, a lovely piece of hardware.
Dennis Dupree: This place is about to become a sea of sweat, ear-shattering music and puke.