Dylan Dog: See? That's just what this case needed. A seven-foot tall, flesh-eating zombie. Which begs the question, are there any actual people left in New Orleans?
Phil Woodward: I've got a kid in college and another one going in the fall. I won't go back to the factory floor. I'll take an AK-47 to this place first.
Claudia: Not every woman needs 2.5 kids and a husband and a mini-van to complete her. My friends are my family, that firm is my spouse, I wake up every morning, a happy, single, successful woman, wondering what on earth could I possibly need?
Gina: Ha-ha! So you got it all figured out huh?
Claudia: Yeah. Pretty much.
Gina: Well, I guess we will see.
Claudia: I know what I want and I'm getting it. We're done. Stop the car! Get out.
Mr. Nobody: It's ironic, isn't it? The Old Testament had a wrathful God, but people became uneasy with the concept, needed a best seller, so they came up with a New Testament. Suddenly God was loving and forgiving. I'm old-school, myself. I prefer the Old Testament. I mean you've got to love a God who's not afraid to mete out a little vengeance when the need arises.
Johnny Marco: What's that book about again?
Cleo: It's about this girl that's in love with this guy. But he's a vampire, and his whole family's vampires. So she can't really be with him.
Johnny Marco: Why doesn't she become one too?
Cleo: Doesn't she become one too? Cleo: Because she can't. He doesn't want to turn her into a vampire. And if she gets too close to him, he won't be able to help himself.
Johnny Marco: Oh, man.
Marambra: At least I laugh and I like seeing people's teeth, if I'm happy because I'm happy, if I'm depressed because I'm depressed, I love you, I love you I said.
John 'Spud' Milton: I don't know about you Sir, but drinking just makes me sad. It's like the more you drink, the sadder you get... and the sadder you get the more you drink.
Veronica 'Ronnie' Miller: Truth only means something when it's hard to admit! Don't you get that?
David Dutton: Don't ask me why I can't leave without my wife and I won't ask you why you can.
Caliban: This island is mine.
Sara Ludlow: I have lots of boyfriends. I mean, I'm not a slut.
Chris: Of course you're not.
Sara Ludlow: But, different guys are interesting for different reasons. You're interesting for a very specific reason.
Scooter Libby: In 1991, the United States invaded Iraq, and afterwards weapons inspectors discovered Saddam was six months off enriching uranium to sufficiently high specification to make a nuclear bomb. He had fissile material, and not a single person in the CIA had the slightest clue that such a program even existed. So, now, one decade on are you telling me that you're 100% sure these tubes are not intended to create nuclear weapons?
Glen McCreavy: Why does the asshole always get the girl?
Jack: Did you ever wanna be anything but a priest?
Father Benedetto: Have you ever wanted to be anything other than a photographer?
Jack: I do what I'm good at.
Pyke Kubic: That vagina gives you special privileges.
Frank Garcia: Do you know the success rate for marriage when one person gets sobers, and the other one doesn't?
Nick Halsey: Is it higher than the suicide rate for cops?