Alex: You're a condor. You eat death for breakfast. Remember that.
Andrew 'Pope' Cody: Turn around, pig cunt.
Dr. Robert Stonehill: I already work around the clock.
David Marks: Look at her. I swear to God, I didn't even know that people like her existed. She's perfect.
Dan Sanders: Miley Cyrus.
Claire: Charlie doesn't approve, which makes it all the more fun.
Nostalgia Critic: What started as just an acre of land will blossom into something more than an acre of land.
Linkara: Yeah, like two acres of land.
Lucien Ginsburg: When I go out, it's to meet up with women. How else do think I was able to draw cunt hair?
Florence Marr: I just got out of a long relationship and I don't want to go from just having sex to just having sex to just having sex.
Roger Greenberg: Who's the third 'just having sex'?
Florence Marr: You. If we had sex.
Stephan Gold: Truth is a luxury, Rachel.
George Lonegan: Sometimes, I mean you know, knowing everything about someone, it seems nice, but really, maybe it's better to hold stuff back.
Aaron Green: Nothing you say makes any sense, I understand that now, you're just a fucking junkie and you're smart so you make your insanity sound, good but its bullshit.
Arjan van Diemen: During the war, me and my men would cut off the trigger fingers of the bravest British officers we captured - only the bravest, mind, the ones most worthy of respect. Do you understand that? That's what I did to people I respected.
Kereama: Doesn't leave much hope for me then, does it?
Arjan van Diemen: Hope kills fools like you every day.
Cotton Marcus: I should have read the letter a little more thoroughly.
Edgar Frog: Death to all vampires?
Alan Frog: Maximum body count.
Edgar Frog: We are awesome monster bashers.
Alan Frog: The meanest.
Edgar Frog: The baddest.