Otis: For half a dozen guys unloading on you so you look like a melted candle today we will gladly pay you on Tuesday. I don't know who's gonna go for that one.
Sam Fuller: Plenty of guys have broken up with me. You just beat them up and move on.
Santa Claus: Looks like Grandpa got run over by a reindeer.
The Kid: So, as just a guy who gave another guy a sandwich, you have, like, any philosophical tips or anything, for a guy on a-kind of - road trip?
Don Johnston: You asking me?
The Kid: Yeah.
Don Johnston: Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future, isn't here yet, whatever it's going to be. So, all there is, is, is this. The present. That's it.
The Kid: Are you a Buddhist?
Holly Hamilton: I'm whipped, so time to hit the sheets, even though I have no idea which box there in.
Gloria Goodfellow: Petey? Petey? Walter?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Ah, Gloria. This is Bob and Ted from the waterboard, we're just discussing the.
Gloria Goodfellow: Walter, where's Petey?
Reverend Walter Goodfellow: Oh Lord! Mrs Calloway called about her crisis of faith. She was on the verge of losing it.
Gloria Goodfellow: I know the bloody feeling.
Julian Noble: I'm as serious as an erection problem.
Marienne Hotchkiss: Dance is a very powerful drug Mr. Keane. If embraced judiciously, it can exorcise demons, access deep seated emotions and color your life in joyous shades of brilliant magenta that you never knew existed. But, one must shoulder its challenges with intrepid countenance if one is ever to reap its rewards.
Jude: What's the matter? Boy trouble?
Otis: Fuck you, Jude.
Nick Persons: Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons: Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car.
Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.
Hollywood Henderson: Katelin.
Katelin Kingsford: Et tu, Hollywood?
Sir Nicholas: What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps: I'm not queer, don't bum me.
Dr. Perry Lyman: I stopped trying to be anything. I accepted myself in all my human disorder. You might wanna do the same.
Romy White: Why am I the only one who sees how great I am?
Cousin Bo: I wanna buzz your butt.
Chuck Hasboro: Death and life. And death and life. Right next door to each other! There's like, there's a hair between them.
Rose Feller: What are you doing here?
Maggie Feller: I live here. What are you doing here?
Rose Feller: You live here? In an old folks home?
Maggie Feller: It's a Retirement Community for Active Seniors.