Sir Nicholas: What queer finery he wears.
Geoff Tipps: I'm not queer, don't bum me.
Adam Forrest: I heard once that love is friendship on fire. That's how I feel about you.
Kim: This is what happens when a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon reproduce.
Alexandra 'Nightingale' Morgan: If we're lucky, the zombie plague will end up as a footnote in the history books. No worse than aids or bubonic plague.
Dylan: Chill out guys, I've got something stashed that just might help.
Brian: Dylan, we don't have time to indulge in recreational activities.
Justin Cobb: We have to overcome the idea that everyone is the same.
Pepe the Prawn: Those of you who have Dark Side of the Moon, press play now.
Fred Jones: All right, gang, this is it. When the going gets tough, what do we do?
Shaggy: Bury our heads in the sand?
Drew Baylor: In that moment, I knew success, not greatness, was the only god the world served.
Girl at Party: Your doing that babbling thing again.
Teddy Harwood: I think babbling is cool.
Crystal Falls: You really don't care what people think, do you?
Dean Stiffle: No, I really don't.
Crystal Falls: That's a nice trick.
Dean Stiffle: Thanks, I studied in the far east.
Crystal Falls: Maybe you can show me how it's done?
Dean Stiffle: Step one? Years of ridicule.
Mrs. Lefkowitz: My son - 55 - still single.
Lewis Feldman: Gay?
Mrs. Lefkowitz: I wish - immature.
Singleton: Yeah, well, you play like a girl.
Hayley Goodfairer: Excuse me?
Sara: Is it because you just don't understand the vagina? I'd be happy to draw you a chart.
Gloria Goodfellow: You can't just go 'round killing people just because you don't approve of them.
Grace Hawkins: You know, that's what my doctors used to say. It was the one point we could never agree on.
Evil: Because when you point a finger at somebody else, you're pointing three at yourself and a thumb at the sky.
Special Agent Derrick Vann: I'm gonna check the front of my car. If it smells like ass, I'm gonna beat you like a runaway slave.
Laura Henderson: Tommy, you're so literal. You're thinking bosoms, but I'm thinking breasts.
Lord Cromer: And what, my dear, is the difference?
Laura Henderson: Ah, the difference is in your soul.