Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Floyd: Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch!
Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Shane Wolfe: Rule number one: never be too eager to rush your opponent.
Valiant: It's not the size of your wingspan that counts, no, it's the size of your spirit.
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.
Reggie: I see buckets of dead relatives! Extra crispy! Extra crispy.
Mayor Buckman: Got any last requests, boy?
Malcolm: Yeah. Kiss my black ass.
Chanel: Is that a purse?
James: It's a man bag.
Ida: A man bag?
James: Yeah, it's like the hottest new accessory.
Ida: You got some man lipstick in that bag?
Maitre D': Whats wrong with him?
Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax.
David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir.
Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.
David Abbott: Numathurman.
Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind.
David Abbott: Never mind.
Hadley Wolfmeyer: What kind of a dickhead runs away with his secretary? That is lame, take a right, make a left at pathetic.
Pickle Factory boss: Writer huh? Are you sure?
Henry Chinaski: No, I'm not. I'm halfway through a novel.
Pickle Factory boss: What's it about?
Henry Chinaski: Everything.
Pickle Factory boss: It's about... cancer?
Henry Chinaski: Yes.
Pickle Factory boss: How about my wife?
Henry Chinaski: She's in there too.
Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch.
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.
Tom Baker: What do you do for a living Eliot?
Eliot: Well... I'm in 8th grade.
The Wolf: I'm allergic to yodeling.
Mr. Marks: Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?
Nick Persons: What is wrong with you kids?
Ron: Camp Wannaweep. The worst summer of my life.
Kim: I know, I know... the ticks, the poison ivy, the toxic lake, your mom stopped accepting your phone calls.
Ron: Yeah... you know, all that stuff was bad, KP, but you know what was worse? Spending a whole summer away from you.
Fred Jones: All right, gang, this is it. When the going gets tough, what do we do?
Shaggy: Bury our heads in the sand?