Isabel Bigelow: Guess what? I'm a witch.
Jack Wyatt: Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan.
Emily Barnes: If there's anything that I know, it's that love is infinite. You can always make more when you need it. And just because you wanna give some to somebody else, doesn't mean that you'll take any away from me.
Fender : Welcome to Robot City. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. And if you can't make it there, welcome to the club.
Hooker (Janet Moran): Oi. You doing business, do it somewhere else, love. This pavement's got my name on it.
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: And what, pray, is your name? Concrete?
Hooker (Janet Moran): My name is scratch your eyes out, and bite your bleed'n nose off. Which is what I'll do if you don't get off my patch.
Mr. Silky String: She giving you trouble, sir?
Patrick "Kitten" Braden: Oh, no trouble at all. We were just exchanging names.
Percy: If you're gonna marry one of these women, sometimes it's gonna hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right.
Simon Green: She's right?
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: Always?
Percy: Right.
Simon Green: Right.
Percy: That's right.
Simon Green: All right okay, what about all that talk about my dignity?
Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.
Floyd: Welcome to Thunderdome, bitch!
Elliot Wilhelm: When are you going to call me?
Chili Palmer: When your phone rings.
Bree Osbourne: My body may be a work-in-progress, but there is nothing wrong with my soul.
Shane Wolfe: Rule number one: never be too eager to rush your opponent.
Tom Baker: What do you do for a living Eliot?
Eliot: Well... I'm in 8th grade.
Valiant: It's not the size of your wingspan that counts, no, it's the size of your spirit.
Red: What big ears you have.
The Wolf: All the better to hear your many criticisms.
T.J. Hicks: Did you know Holland invented chicken and waffles?
Deuce Bigalow: Really?
T.J. Hicks: Before that you could get chicken or waffles, but they were the first to put them together! Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that.
Deuce Bigalow: You know the Dutch started the slave trade.
T.J. Hicks: Those mother fuckers.
Henry Chinaski: I lost a woman.
Old Black Man: Yeah, well, you'll have others. You'll lose them, too.
Mayor Buckman: Got any last requests, boy?
Malcolm: Yeah. Kiss my black ass.
Mr. Marks: Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?
Joey Naylor: Dad, why is the American government the best government?
Nick Naylor: Because of our endless appeals system.
Alex: You make sex often with American girl?
Jonathan: Not really.
Alex: What is mean by "not really?"
Jonathan: I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either.
Alex: I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis.
Jonathan: Yes, he did.
Alex: Everyne in Ukraine has penis like that.
Jonathan: Even the women?
Alex: You make joke, yes?
Jonathan: Yes.
Tracy Stokes: I think I just swallowed Nemo.