Best comedy movie quotes of 1999

Narrator: He makes his way to the long, elevated surface where he will consume small amounts of fermented grain in the hopes that it will make him more appealing to a potential mate. In fact, it has the opposite effect. The fermented grain makes all females more appealing to him.

Stevie: You didn't miss... You hit everything.

Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #1.
Kit: Happy premise #1: There are no aliens.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #2.
Kit: Happy premise #2: There is no giant foot trying to squash me.
Terry Stricter, MindHead Honcho: Happy premise #3.
Kit: Happy premise #3: Even though I feel like I might ignite, I probably won't.

Princess Bunhead: You'll never get away with this, Black Helmet Man! You are bad! You are bad and we are good! Your badness will be the end of you, and our goodness will be our triumph! Bad is bad - good is good! Bad-bad-good-bad! Good-good-bad-good, bad! Good.

Nurse Rennert: This is Hollywood. People here believe anything.

Lisa Swenson: Why? Well, ah, it's kind of like askin' why all the guys chew Copenhagen, you know? I mea - If you're 17, and you're not a total fry, it's just what you do.

Dylan: I found him down by the pier.
Lila: Oh you bad dog! I should spank you.
Dylan: Ooh, hey, I was down by the pier too.

Guitar Wolf: Love has no borders, nationalities, or genders.

Marcus: Get away from me! You're bad luck.

Penny: Having another hero cop dream, Uncle John?
Officer John Brown: Every time I close my eyes.

Johnny: I've never felt this way before.
Helen: Of course not. You're twenty.

Sir Robert Chiltern: If you are suggesting, Sir Edward, that my position in society owes anything to my wife, you are utterly mistaken. It owes everything to my wife.

Barbara Porter: Look, I know your grandpa's not great with you girls.
Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Mom, that's like saying the Titanic's not great with icebergs.

Moff: See ya later Pete, no-one gives a fuck about ya.

George Shapiro: Your material doesn't exactly transfer to film.

Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: The Light is green.

Jimmie: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.
Marco: You are sick.

Peter Steinberg: You've made your big gay bed and now you must slumber gaily in it.

Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I have to watch my sister.
Claire Addison: I thought you were an only child?
Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I am. Sister... Mary Catherine... she's a nun... and an invalid.

Arlo: You just hijacked me with an unloaded gun?
Tim Mason: Yeah.
Arlo: When this is all over, remind me to kick your ass.