Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night.
Sue Ryan: It's easy to be a bitch now that Brad Seldon's available.
Nicole: It's easy to be a bitch either way.
Rob Geller: See ya around the Cell Block, Mrs. Robinson.
Courtney: I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it.
Sarah Lewis: I don't deserve heaven.
Ben Holmes: Oh Sarah, you deserve so much more than you think you do.
Rusty Zimmerman: You're ashamed of us, but we're not ashamed of you. As long as you go down on your Banana Republican knees and suck dick, you're my sisters, and I love you. And fuck off.
Sly: They've got Whit.
Dan: Who's got Whit? Wait, you're Whit.
Zenon: Zetus lupetus.
Coach Bud Kilmer: Cry me a river, you fat fucking baby.
Barbara Porter: Look, I know your grandpa's not great with you girls.
Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Mom, that's like saying the Titanic's not great with icebergs.
Fanny Price: Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint.
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: The Light is green.
Michael Felgate: Well at least tell me what his restaurant is called, then I can sneak in, in a beard or something.
Gina Vitale: It's called The La Trattoria.
Michael Felgate: You mean La Trattoria.
Gina Vitale: No.
Michael Felgate: The La Trattoria means The The Trattoria.
Gina Vitale: I know.
Michael Felgate: Interesting. Look I have to go to the La Bathroom, and I'll be back in a sec.
Hilary: This is where we sleep, but there's no inappropriate behavior allowed.
Megan: Inappropriate? Like swearing?
Graham: No, inappropriate like fucking.
Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I have to watch my sister.
Claire Addison: I thought you were an only child?
Charlie Boyle aka Chaz Anthony: I am. Sister... Mary Catherine... she's a nun... and an invalid.
Coach Winchell: But it's me... Spanky.
Voice of the Announcer: Meanwhile, back at Snidely's not-so-secret hideout.
Ella Khan: Do you think I'm a good mother?
Auntie Annie: No, I think you're a friggin' awful mother.
Bottom the Weaver: Since lion vile hath here deflowered my dear.
Peter Quince: Devoured.