Rusty Zimmerman: You're ashamed of us, but we're not ashamed of you. As long as you go down on your Banana Republican knees and suck dick, you're my sisters, and I love you. And fuck off.
Leo Morton: Ed, can you take that Delta?
Ed Clabes: No, I can't take the Delta, my airspace is finite.
Barry Plotkin: Uh-oh, Ed's going down the drain.
Ed Clabes: I am not going down the drain.
Barry Plotkin: Oh yes you are. It happens every time you use the term "finite."
Stan: Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you.
Dave: Why are we doing this?
Chase: As a protest.
Dave: Of what?
Ray: People, right?
Chase: Sheep.
Ray: Check, Dave. We're doing this to protest sheep.
Dave: And what specifically about sheep do we object to?
Ray: Chase?
Chase: General herding mentality.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: Don't call me that! I'm a Puerto Rican lady senor.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut.
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'M no slut.
Miles Logan: Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit.
Jordan Armstrong: You know, maybe if I had the luxury of getting my ass whooped, I could be calm right now. But I have been drinking tequila shots, my hormones are raging out of control, I'm emotional, I'm horny, and I don't wanna hear about no goddamn peas! Fuck you! Good night.
Zenon: Zetus lupetus.
Tommy Trafford: Miss Mabel, I hope you'll be able to make our usual appointment, as I have something very particular I wish to say to you. Good day, ladies.
Mabel: When Tommy wants to be romantic, he talks to one just like a doctor.
Dylan: I found him down by the pier.
Lila: Oh you bad dog! I should spank you.
Dylan: Ooh, hey, I was down by the pier too.
Andy Kaufman: I'm going to the Philippines.
George Shapiro: The Philippines? What's in the Philippines?
Andy Kaufman: A miracle.
Penny: Having another hero cop dream, Uncle John?
Officer John Brown: Every time I close my eyes.
Johnny: I've never felt this way before.
Helen: Of course not. You're twenty.
Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.
Barbara Porter: Look, I know your grandpa's not great with you girls.
Melanie 'Mel' Porter: Mom, that's like saying the Titanic's not great with icebergs.
Moff: See ya later Pete, no-one gives a fuck about ya.
Oscar Novak: ...she has an ass so sexy, I struggle to understand it.
Wayne Wayne Wayne Jr.: The Light is green.
Jimmie: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.
Marco: You are sick.