Mari Hoff: Ah, your not the famous phone bill, are ya?
Casey Wells: You know what they did in Ancient Rome when a visitor violated somebody's hospitality? They cut off his dick and they nailed it to the fucking gate!
Jay Murphy: It's hard to tell how many emotions were real and how many were manufactured just to get the other person to bring over more pot.
Dock Newton: You ain't any less of a drunk now than you was when hooch was legal.
Jess Newton: Well, you see, there's my point. That particular law ain't really doin' it's job, now is it?
Oscar Madison: Was it San Marino?
Felix Ungar: Not San Marino, maybe San Quentino.
Oscar Madison: Not San Quentino, San Sorina.
Felix Ungar: No not San Sorina.
Oscar Madison: San Mateo. San Clemente. Roberto Clemente.
Felix Ungar: Sancho Pancho. Pancho Gonzales.
Oscar Madison: Ferrando Lamas, Ricardo Montalban.
Felix Ungar: Ricky Ricardo.
Radio DJ: We've reached number twelve on the top 500 of all time, according to... me, all right? So don't bother calling in. This time, it's my choice.
Laura Franklin: Sky Atlantic 62, Phoenix Tower. Captain, you need to do a 360.
Pilot: Damn it tower, do you know it costs this airline two grand in fuel every time we circle?
Laura Franklin: Sky Atlantic 62, give me four thousand dollars worth.
Dr. Smith: Never trust anyone, especially me.
Isadora: If you ever miss me, take a look at our little portrait. I say this because I fear that you'll forget me as well. I miss my father. I miss everything. Dora.
William Riker: We're through running from these bastards!
Hannah: And you really didn't sleep with her?
Paul: No, of course not.
Hannah: And - you didn't want to sleep with her.
Paul: Oh, God, yes.
Mark: You're losing it. A year ago you'd already be re-enacting the kitchen scene from "9 1/2 Weeks." 'Course, my own sex life's more like 8 1/2 Weeks - Fellini meets Psycho. Scary.
Jason: I guess he's still in the slammer.
Claudia: In the slammer?
Jason: Yeah, the sculptor across the way beat up his wife last night.
Claudia: You're kidding.
Antonio: Jason sicced the cops on him.
Claudia: Oh, so this isn't just cheap thrills. It's in the public interest.
Jason: Call me citizen voyeur.
Claudia: So, if he gonna come after you?
Jason: No, I don't think so. He doesn't know I called the cops, and I didn't give my name to 911.
Jack Ames: Fuck you.
Harry Ross: Just me? Not the horse I rode in on?
Jack Ames: Him too.
Guenter Wendt: We drill! We drill the hell out of everything. We drill and we drill until we know every step in our sleep - and then we drill some more.
David Leigh, The Filmmaker: At 10 PM, in what will be the last broadcast, Fact or Fiction goes live.
Pepper Gianini: All right all right! But we didn't actually sleep.
Lawson Russell: Drink, detective?
Clifford Dubose: Nah. Never touch it. Makes me happy.
