Peaches: I'm having a dinner party Friday night, we're short one man.
Oscar Madison: How about Abe here, he's a short man.
Peaches: You can run Oscar, but you can't hide! See ya.
Oscar Madison: Oh, that's such an original expression. I hate a woman who talks like Muhammed Ali.
Sandra: You'd better hurry up. Tell me something to make me love you.
Claire: Where are you going?
Robert: Looks like I'm going nowhere.
Claire: Don't you fucking quote Star Wars at me.
Steven: How's that for wet work?
Alex: I want to thank you for your time, Miss Alexander. You are a lovely young woman. And if I was thirty younger, and you were a little blind in one eye, what a wonderful life we could have together.
Joan: I want to get rid of you as much as I want to get rid of that crap from Ikea.
Uncle Bubba: All I'm asking is that you let me wet my beak a little bit.
Jesus Shuttlesworth: Wet your beak?
Jessica: Tum Tum, I made your favorite bacon, lettuce, tomato, bologna, ham and swiss cheese sandwich.
TumTum: No thanks mom, I'm not hungry.
Mesh-Head: If I were you, I would run.
Buddy: If you were me, you'd be good-lookin'.
Milton Arbogast: Oh, someone has seen her, all right. Someone always sees a girl with $400,000.
Mrs. Jenkins: Oh! I'll put on lots and lots of tea.
Richard Jemmons: The media giveth, and go fuck yourself.
Thomas Builds-the-Fire: Sometimes it's a good day to die, and sometimes it's a good day to have breakfast.
Inspector Frank Bumstead: So Husselbeck, what kind of killer do you think stops to save a dying fish?
Collecter: Ah that's my new ballast I just picked up, gotta keep the old ship steady you know.
Marcella: Yeah but some how our egg got mixed up with your ballast. What's a ballast?
Debbie Strand: No means no. Don't you guys get that? What is it, you stop understanding English when you get a hard-on?
Kate Gulden: Thank you for the world so sweet.Thank you for the food we eat.Thank you for the birds that sing.Thank you, God, for everything.
