Dr. Fish: I have to interpret why the dog is whining. He can't tell me.
Lucky: What's to tell? There's a thermometer! It's in my butt.
Charlotte Pingress: You're not fit to lick the boots of my real gay friends.
Des McGrath: Well, I don't want to lick the boots of your real gay friends.
Mrs. Jenkins: Oh! I'll put on lots and lots of tea.
Stoner Guy: You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.
Dock Newton: You ain't any less of a drunk now than you was when hooch was legal.
Jess Newton: Well, you see, there's my point. That particular law ain't really doin' it's job, now is it?
Steven: How's that for wet work?
Walsingham: All men need something greater than themselves to look up to and worship. They must be able to touch the divine here on earth.
Karen Swan: I'm 29. Do you know how old I'm going to be next year?
Danny: 30?
Karen Swan: Don't mock me.
Kate Gulden: Thank you for the world so sweet.Thank you for the food we eat.Thank you for the birds that sing.Thank you, God, for everything.
Trillian St. James: What the hell are these things?
Finnegan: Real unfriendly.
Edwards: Mr. President, we have to give bears the right to vote... or bears will rise up and then bears will be in congress and we will be the ones performing in the circus, wearing little hats.
Debbie Strand: No means no. Don't you guys get that? What is it, you stop understanding English when you get a hard-on?
Uncle Joe: Nothing harder than being given your chance. At least, that's what I hear.
Felix Ungar: Better pull off the freeway, Oscar, I have to eat. I have a low sugar condition, I have to eat every four hours.
Oscar Madison: Why the hell didn't you eat when we were back at El Pollo Loco?
Felix Ungar: Because it wasn't time to eat yet, it was time to pee. Sheesh.
Dr. Laura Baker: The alien DNA infected us, it's about time we infected them.
William Riker: We're through running from these bastards!
Ricky Hayman: Good. Better. Best. Never let it rest, 'til your good is Better and your better is best.
Dr. Smith: Never trust anyone, especially me.
Anthony Cortino: Diane, would you excuse us?
Diane: Oh, yeah, sure. If you need me, I'll be up on the bidet.