Jack Crow: You ever seen a vampire?
Father Adam Guiteau: No I haven't.
Jack Crow: No? Well first of all, they're not romantic. It's not like they're a bunch of fuckin' fags hoppin' around in rented formal wear and seducing everybody in sight with cheesy Euro-trash accents, all right? Forget whatever you've seen in the movies: they don't turn into bats, crosses don't work, and garlic? You wanna try garlic? You could stand there with garlic around your neck and one of these buggers will bend you fucking over and take a walk up your estrada chocolata while he is suckin' the blood outta your neck.
Chris Nielsen: That's when I realised I'm part of the problem. Not because I remind you. But because I couldn't join you. So I left you alone. Don't give up, okay?
Ivy: Somebody has to teach this beautiful bird some manners. Might as well be me.
Paulie: What's wrong with my manners?
Luke: Anna! You do not run out on your mother.
Anna Harrison: No, that's your job.
Charlie: You the man.
Jack: No, I'm the snowman.
Birdee Pruitt: Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome.
Dedee Truitt: Lucia and Carl had their baby. You can imagine the pick of that litter. It was the kind of kid that if you played with it too much after a feeding, you threw up.
Cisco: That mother fucker loaded...he got piles of cash just layin' around the crib.
Congressman Phillip Hammersley: Telecommunications Security and Privacy Act. Invasion of privacy is more like it. - You read the Post?"This bill is not the first step towards the surveillance society. It is the surveillance society."
Robert Boyd: Time for some serious self-exploration - how do I function. For real! No more bullshit. Can I keep my cool when they bounce my bananas, when they won't play my song, etc, etc, etc. Do you get me? DO you GET ME?
Michael Berkow: Not really, no.
Daryl Zero: I always say that the essence of my work relies fundamentally on two basic principles: objectivity and observation, or "the two obs" as I call them. My work relies on my ability to remain absolutely, purely objective, detached. I have mastered the fine art of detachment. And while it comes at some cost, this supreme objectivity is what makes me, I dare say, the greatest observer the world has ever known.
Gia Carangi: Where are you going?
Linda: You don't have any clothes on.
Gia Carangi: Don't change the subject.
Clayton Boone: I am not... your monster.
Dr. Gonzo: We won't make the nut unless we have unlimited credit.
Raoul Duke: Jesus Christ, we will, man. You Samoans are all the same. You have no faith in the essential decency of the white man's culture.
Dr. Edgar Caldicott: Science is God.
Z: Let's be real about this. Bala and I... Bala is a princess, and I'm a soil relocation engineer.
Iggy: Woman, you are drunk.
Loretta Lee: Yes, I believe I am.