Stevenson Lowe: So what went wrong?
Lily Marlowe: Well, Max has his faults. There were many women to whom he was not, shall we say, indifferent.
Stevenson Lowe: But you knew that, I mean, you knew that.
Lily Marlowe: I thought it would pass. I think it's a sad loss that men have such an aptitude for love coupled with such an inability for managing it properly.
Nancy: This island didn't have a murder rate until you people showed up.
Timothy Flyte: This thing is what wiped out the dinosaurs! It's a pretty tough fucking customer!
Popov: We're Russians! We demand you take us to the Russian imbecile.
Natalya: It's "Embassy," imbecile.
Henry Cavendish: I stink. I shall bathe in scent for you.
Mary Blackchurch: Don't do it for me. Do it for yourself.
Debbie Strand: No means no. Don't you guys get that? What is it, you stop understanding English when you get a hard-on?
Narrator: Do you know where you are?
Mohammed Ali Jinnah: I believe I have some idea.
Oscar Madison: The wick is almost out, Felix. All I want is for the candle to glow one last time rather than curse the darkness.
Felix Ungar: It's not going out, Oscar, not yours and not mine. But I still have hope that somewhere out there we'll find the right lamplighter.
Oscar Madison: You know, we just used so many metaphors I forgot what the hell we were talking about.
Des McGrath: Do yuppies even exist? No one says, "I am a yuppie," it's always the other guy who's a yuppie. I think for a group to exist, somebody has to admit to be part of it.
Dan Powers: Of course yuppies exist. Most people would say you two are prime specimens.
Tiffany: Well, hello, dolly.
Darryl: They killed my baby. He got involved with that whole east coast-west coast thing, and being that he is so Chicago they both banged on him.
Ricky Hayman: Good. Better. Best. Never let it rest, 'til your good is Better and your better is best.
Hilary: If you think being an ordinary person is any easier than being an extraordinary one, you're wrong.
Meredith: I have a hard time trusting men.
Trent: I'm not men. I'm not a group. I'm just me.
Cliff: Who wants to do a bong... how about you.
François Pignon: Do you sleep with all your editors?
Pierre Brochant: None of your damn business.
Steve Rubell: Prison can be so fucking dull at night.
Gwen Cromwell Piper: You are not a witch.
Marnie Cromwell: Oh, yes, I am, no thanks to you. You were going to let my powers go away forever.
Jan Schlichtmann: So what are you saying? You want to get out now and cut our losses, you want to get out now and throw away...? What was it?
James Gordon: 1.4 million dollars.
Jan Schlichtmann: Well, I don't know what to tell you because there's things I need to prove and I can't do that not spending money.
James Gordon: We have to go see uncle Pete.
Gov. Jack Stanton: You know as well as I do, that plenty of people playing this game, they don't think that way. They're willing to sell their souls, crawl through sewers, lie to people, divide them, play on their worst fears for nothing! Just for the prize.