Rudy Zolteck: That's it, I'm leaving the country. I'm moving to New Mexico.
Phil: In case we don't make it and I die first... Eat me.
Mitch: Eat you? I don't even like talking to you on the phone.
Officer Sam 'Mad Dog' Shaw: Where you guys from, Texas?
Pepper: Texas? Ain't no real cowboys from Texas, we're from New Mexico.
Cliff Spab: I'd like to live forever... but only for a little while.
"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me.
Molly: My daddy doesn't think she's in heaven.
Corrina Washington: Well, that's probably just because your daddy is so jealous of the angels. He's so jealous, he can't even stand to think about those angels who get to play with your mommy all day long. And he's hurting just like you're hurting, and you're going to hurt for a long time. Every day it'll get a little better, but you'll always miss your mommy, and that's okay.
Peter: This guy, by the way, could be the biggest loser who ever walked the face of the earth. He could be a grump, a jerk, a pervert, a cynic, a man who's mind is infested with dark thoughts, he could be a criminal... he could be... truly sick.
Serge: Now, one thing's very important. At the survival boutiqua, I feel that it's my personality, that's it's my philosophy that everything must conform to the three P's, OK? Which is, protection. Prestige. And pretty. I mean, why should you look ugly if you're just trying to survive?
Tania: He says they're not sleeping together. She only sucks him off.
Cheryl: Why?
Tania: Out of respect for me.
Nicole: Bitch.
Fred Flintstone: I'm only one man.
Barney Rubble: Not from the back.
Dr. Jekyll: My boy, I derive no pleasure in telling you that you are in extreme danger.
Richard Tyler: Danger?
Dr. Jekyll: Even as we speak.
Clifford: You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do.
Rube Baker: Hey, Cerrano. I'm on the rooster.
Uncle Joe: Would you mind going to the market, we're out of Oreos.
Molly: Well, we wouldn't be out of Oreos, would we, if someone hadn't sucked out all of the insides and tossed the rest away, you naughty boy.
Uncle Joe: I'm old and I'm rich. I can eat whatever parts I want. If I want to eat the goddamn box, I'll eat the goddamn box.
Billy Heywood: Who would've thought they'd throw you a changeup with a three-two count and the bases loaded?
Lou Collins: I bet you did, didn't you. You did! Ya knew it.
Grandpa Mori Shintaro: Before you go to Japan, you will be tested on the field of battle. Remember, four strands of rope, apart you can snap, but together you can be strong, now get out there and kick butt.
Don Juan: There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.
Shaddus Peyser: What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Pigman: "A Bridge Too Far." Caine and Hackman in the same movie. This is my thesis man! This is my closing argument! I CAN stop watching TV.