Rube Baker: Hey, Cerrano. I'm on the rooster.
George O'Farrell: Hey 'Blackout, ' I didn't get you for your curve ball. I don't like your curve ball. As a matter of fact, I hate your curve. You know why? Because the damn thing don't curve.
Don Juan: There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio. What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.
Cliff Spab: I'd like to live forever... but only for a little while.
"Mud": I'm in hell. Shoot me.
Molly: My daddy doesn't think she's in heaven.
Corrina Washington: Well, that's probably just because your daddy is so jealous of the angels. He's so jealous, he can't even stand to think about those angels who get to play with your mommy all day long. And he's hurting just like you're hurting, and you're going to hurt for a long time. Every day it'll get a little better, but you'll always miss your mommy, and that's okay.
Serge: Now, one thing's very important. At the survival boutiqua, I feel that it's my personality, that's it's my philosophy that everything must conform to the three P's, OK? Which is, protection. Prestige. And pretty. I mean, why should you look ugly if you're just trying to survive?
Muriel: When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to abba songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: Not exactly a four star hotel, is it?
Lieutenant Talinsky: Well, we spend our police budget on fighting criminals, not on pampering out of town visitors.
Captain Thaddeus Harris: It was your government that brought us here.
Lieutenant Talinsky: They also bring in monkeys for zoo, but we don't put them in four star hotel either.
Terry McKay: I guess I'm happy when I don't want to be anywhere else but where I am.
Antonio: This is not a motel called "Cemetery." This is a cemetery called "Motel."
Leprechaun: A leprechaun's home has many surprises.
Red Bean's Mother: You ate my chicken ass, now I'm going to eat your ass.
Buddy: You're happy. I hate that.
Hood: So, what we wanna know is are you a brotha or a sista?
Pat: Well, I'm an only child.
Reg: Jody, what the hell are you doing here? You're dead.
Jody: So what else is new?
Eva: EW! I am so not letting you eat lizards! From now on you are on a strict "no-yuck" diet.
Francesco Dellamorte: You're supposed to be setting a good example, now will you get back to your coffin immediately.
Claudette: I've told you, not to bother me before a show, or after a show. Or, at home in my bedroom, when I'm thinking about a show.
Maurice L. Pogue: It's so nice seeing all your faces here: John and Susan and Mary and Fred and Ethel, Little Ricky.