Billy: Eat shit and die, Ricky.
Ricky: Eat shit and live, Bill.
David Lightman: [On the computer] Hello, are you still playing the game?
Joshua: Of course. I should reach Defcon 1 and release my missiles in 28 hours. Would you like to see some projected kill ratios?
David Lightman: Sixty-nine percent of the housing destroyed. Seventy-two million people dead. [Types into computer] Is this a game or is it real?
Joshua: What's the difference?
Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
Steve: Beer for breakfast there, Two-Bit?
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
Michael: [At the wake.] Great tradition! They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come!
Dakota: How would you like to bite that in the butt, develop lockjaw, and be dragged to death?
Emma Horton: Some people say Des Moines is the best city in Iowa.
Harry Callahan: We're not just going to let you walk out of here.
Crook: Who's "we", sucker?
Harry Callahan: Smith, and Wesson, and me.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: It sounded as though there was a bit of a squabble.
Moon: Squabble? They're all dead.
Harvey "Blind" Pew: Oh! Must have been more of a tiff then.
Yoda: When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
Mike Brody: White sharks are dangerous. I know 'em. My father, my brother, myself. They're murders.
Donna Trenton: Damn this car.
Louis Winthorpe III: He was wearing my Harvard tie. Can you believe it? My Harvard tie. Like oh, sure he went to Harvard.
Townsman: I thought all this money would make me feel different.
Jack Ridley: Put the spurs to her, Chuck.
Scrooge: What's she cooking, a canary? Surely they have more food than that. Look on the fire.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Huh, where? Oh, that's your laundry.
Joel Goodson: Looks like the University of Illinois.
Sub Editor: We have two versions ready to go. If he wins, "Australian wonder horse beats the world."
News writer: And if he loses?
Sub Editor: "New Zealand horse fails in Mexico."