Ed: Listen to me, dude, I'm having a really fucked-up, really wet, very bad fucking day.
Freddy Krueger: Little Nancy. Now that you caught me, what game do you wanna play next?
Nancy Holbrook: Fuck you!
Freddy Krueger: Ooh, sounds like fun.
The Creature: I do know that for the sympathy of one living being, I would make peace with all. I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.
George: Excuse me, sir, can I help you? Oh, Mr. Swinton, I didn't recognize you.
Stewart: I'm here to see Miss Alden, George.
George: Well, I'm afraid I'll have to call. May I ask your business with Miss Alden?
Stewart: My business is pleasure, George. Does she look like the fuck of the decade or what?
Randall Peltzer: Well, that's the story. So if your air conditioner goes on the fritz. Or your washing machine blows up. Or your video recorder conks out; before you call the repairman, turn on all the lights, check all the closets and cupboards, look under all the beds. Cause you never can tell. There just might be a gremlin in your house.
Boris Balkan: Behold, I plunge my hands in fire! I feel no heat.
Dean Corso: That's just great! Give us another.
Jonas Taylor: You're going to tell me your story and I'm going to say no. You're going to offer me money and I'm going to say no. You're going to try to appeal to my better nature and I'm still going to say no because I don't have one.
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red, Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its people.
Ash: Well hellooo Mister Fancypants. I've got news for you pal, you ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and shit... And Jack just left town.
Janosh: We have all heard the stories. Look into his eyes! They are true! This place is cursed! They are no more human than the devils that invade our lands.
Viktor: If devils you call us, rest assured, better the devil you know.
Eve: How can you've lived for so long and still not get it? This self obsession is a waste of living. It could be spend in surviving things, appreciating nature, nurturing kindness and friendship, and dancing. You have been pretty lucky in love though, if I may say so.
Grandpa Fred: They put me on at 3am. People who are awake at 3am aren't afraid of the Wolfman. The only thing that frightens those people is sobering up and going to work.