Neville: God didn't do this. We did!
Amanda Dunfrey: I just want you to know that it's okay... being scared. And, well, if you need a friend, someone to talk too.
Mrs. Carmody: I have a friend. God, up above. I talk to him everyday. Don't you condescend me.
Amanda Dunfrey: I'm sorry?
Mrs. Carmody: Not ever. You don't mock me.
Amanda Dunfrey: That's not what I was doing.
Mrs. Carmody: I'll tell you what. The day I need a friend like you, I'll just have myself a little squat and shit one out.
Stuart: Isn't it bad luck to toast with water?
Todd: Yeah. Bad luck for whoever meets us today.
Bruce Campbell: You don't know fear, kid. You've never worked with Sam Raimi.
Aurora: Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.
Steven Johnson: You know what? This crocodile's like O.J. Simpson. He messed up when he killed that white woman.
Katie: Daddy.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not real.
Katie: I'm cold.
Mike Enslin: No, you're not Katie.
Katie: I love you Daddy. Don't you love me anymore?
Mike Enslin: Of course I do, sweetheart.
Dallas: GET to THE chopper .
Dr. Samuel Loomis: Inside every one us, there exists a dark side. Most people rise above it, but some are consumed by it. Until there is nothing left, but pure evil.
Max Keller: WAX lips? I love wax lips! I have to have wax lips.
Billy: Let's carve a scary face this time.
Ed: Do you wanna see what the other side of the camera looks like...?
John: How long you been fucking her?
[Jim looks awkward.]
John: It's a simple question.
[Jim looks down and sees John's wedding ring.]
Jim: How long you been fucking your wife?
John: I don't have one.
Jim: then why are you wearing a ring?
John: It makes people think I'm trustworthy.
Jim: Aren't you?
John: No.
Thomas: How could you kill a poor, defenseless animal? Angela! You're really starting to piss me off.
Deputy Billy Kitka: You know, Beau's not so bad. Why'd you bother writing him up?
Sheriff Eben Oleson: He lives all alone out there on the south ridge. A little citation now and then lets him know he's a part of this town.
Prior: Someone want to tell me what the fuck he's talking about?
McKay: He thinks we're being stalked by dead Nazis.
Jordan: Ghosts?
McKay: I didn't get shot by some fucking spectral entity, here. These things are solid.
Hunt: But the one that killed Cotter vanished right in front of us.
McKay: So why don't they swoop down here like God's own wrath and take us out right here and now, then, eh?
Hunt: I don't know. Maybe God's not in on this miracle.
Asian Woman: Don't bury dead. First shoot in head.