Dr. Bill Capa: What do you give a suicidal patient who's got everything?
Dr. Bob Moore: A parachute. I heard it already.
Quotes from Bruce Willis movies and TV shows - page 2 of 9
Paul Hodges: Why did you smack me?
Jimmy Monroe: I was in the moment, and the moment said smack ya.
Ernest Menville: 'Til death do us part! Well, you girls are dead. And I'm parting.
Ernest Menville: Where did you put my wife?
Second Doctor: She's dead, sir. They took her to the morgue.
Ernest Menville: The morgue? She'll be furious.
Punk Leader: Who are you?
Paul Kersey: Your last customer.
[Paul shoots him.]
John McClane: Oh, you're in charge. Well, I got news for you, Dwayne. From up here, it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.
Dwayne Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole.
John McClane: Asshole"? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*.
John McClane: A hundred million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
[McClane is trying to call the police for help.]
Policewoman: Sir, this line is for emergencies only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?!
[John throws a body onto a cop car to get his attention.]
John McClane: Welcome to the party, pal!
Chief Dwayne: Now you listen to me, mister. I don't know who the hell you think you are or what you're doing, but you just destroyed a building! Now we do not want your help, is that clear? We don't want your help. I've got a 100 people down here and they are covered with glass!
John McClane: Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?
Terrorist: You won't hurt me
John McClane: Oh yeah? Why not?
Terrorist: Because you're a policeman. There are rules for policemen.
John McClane: Oh Yeah? So my captain keeps telling me.
John McClane: Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs.
Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: This time John Wayne does not walk off into the sunset with Grace Kelly.
John McClane: That was Gary Cooper, asshole.
John McClane: So that's is what this is about, Hans? A fucking robbery?
Hans Gruber: Put down the gun.
John McClane: Why'd you have to nuke the whole building, Hans?
Hans Gruber: Well, when you steal $600, you can just disappear. When you steal 600 million, they will find you, unless they think you're already dead.
Gen. Esperanza: Freedom.
[John McClane appears and punches him in the face.]
John McClane: Not yet.
John McClane: Hey Carmine, let me ask you a question. When you go through the airport metal detector, what sets it off first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?
[John is pointing his gun at General Esperanza after he hits him.]
John McClane: You're supposed to stay in your seat until the plane reaches the terminal. No frequent flier mileage for you.
Zeus: He said, "how many were going to St. Ives, " right? The riddle begins, "As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives!" The guy and his wives aren't going anywhere.
John McClane: What are they doing?
Zeus: Sitting in the fucking road! Waiting on the moor! How the hell should I know?