Bartleby: I'm going to have to start off by apologizing for my friend, he has a penchant for the dramatic.
Quotes from Ben Affleck movies and TV shows - page 3 of 5
Wonder Woman: Nice suit. Looking good, Flash.
Flash: Oh, uh thank you.
Wonder Woman: [To Batman] And you are welcome.
Batman: My ego's far too big to say "thank you" to someone else. I developed this all powerful persona to compensate for my childhood trauma.
Al Falcone: I too have childhood trauma.
Wonder Woman: The Lasso of Truth. Never gets old.
Batman: [Struggling to get the Lasso off] I'd do a lot better just giving all my money away. If I really wanted to end crime, I should end poverty.
Flash: [Helping with the Lasso] I know sex exists. But, I've just never experienced it.
Sarah Lewis: I don't deserve heaven.
Ben Holmes: Oh Sarah, you deserve so much more than you think you do.
Ben Holmes: Are you going to be here when I get back?
Sarah Lewis: You know me.
Ben Holmes: I would not presume.
Ben Holmes: Sarah, everybody loves you, you just... you just think they're all wrong.
Ben Holmes: I haven't known you that long, but I think there may be something wrong with you.
Sarah Lewis: What other options do we have? We have no options. None.
Ben Holmes: Yet somehow they seem more appealing than this.
Brian: She's like the ones at the Baywatch. They make my penis sneeze.
Larry Gigli: You got a good sense of humor, you know that?
Brian: God bless you.
Larry Gigli: Thank you.
Brian: No, not you, stupid. When my penis sneezes, I say, 'God bless you'... God bless you, penis.
Larry Gigli: Don't tell me what we're supposed to do.
Ricki: How about this? You leave him alone or I'll kill you.
Larry Gigli: You'll kill me? Fuck you, go ahead.
Ricki: I'll kill you.
Larry Gigli: You don't tell me what to do, okay? Don't tell me what we might do, don't tell me what we're supposed to do, don't tell me what we maybe should do, don't ever tell me nothing.
Ricki: I'll tell you this. You leave him alone or I'll kill you.
Ricki: It's turkey time.
Larry Gigli: Huh?
Ricki: Gobble, gobble.
Larry Gigli: My name is pronounced 'Gee-Lee'. It rhymes with 'Really'.
Ricki: She thinks I'm beautiful.
Larry Gigli: Yeah, well, she's blind in one eye.
Amy Dunne: What's the laptop for?
Nick Dunne: Laptopping!
Nick Dunne: All I'm trying to do is being nice to the people who are volunteering to help find Amy.
Chuckie: Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you.
Chuckie: Are we gonna have a problem here?
Clark: No, no, no, no! There's no problem here. I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could be most aptly described as agrarian precapitalist.
Chuckie: Let me tell you something -
Will: Of course that's your contention. You're a first-year grad student; you just got finished reading some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna be convinced of that 'till next month when you get to James Lemon. Then you're going to be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna last until next year; you're gonna be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talkin' about, you know, the pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social -
Will: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth"? You got that from Vickers' "Work in Essex County, " page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you, is that your thing, you come into a bar, read some obscure passage and then pretend - you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girls, embarrass my friend?
Clark: [looks down in shame.]
Will: See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own and you're going to come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: one, don't do that, and two, you dropped 150 grand on a f***in' education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library!
Clark: Yeah, but I will have a degree. And you'll be servin' my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: That may be, but at least I won't be unoriginal. But I mean, if you have a problem with that, I mean, we could just step outside - we could figure it out.
Clark: No, man, there's no problem. It's cool.
Will: It's cool?
Clark: Yeah.
Will: Cool.
Chuckie: Fuckin' damn right it's cool. How do you like me NOW?
Morgan: My boy's wicked smart!
Chuckie: So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall.
Chuckie: Christ, who did you call?
Will: No one. I forgot the number.
Morgan: You fuckin' retarded? You went all the way out there and you didn't bring their number?
Will: No, it was your mother's 900 number. I just ran out of quarters.
Morgan: Why don't we get off mothers? I just got off yours!
Billy: That's pretty funny, Morgan, here's a fuckin' nickel.
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