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Scout: I'm Batman!

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Sniper: You're gonna need a new use for that neck!

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Heavy: Don't run! It's just ham!

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Scout: Death is stupid!

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Don't Fool With a Phantom - S2-E8

Shaggy: Hey, Scoob, aren't our wax statues the greatest?
Scooby: Yeah.
Daphne: Just what are you fellas going to do with those wax dummies you made?
Shaggy: Well like simple, next time we have a mystery, those dummies can go instead of us.
Fred: There's only one problem. How to tell one pair of dummies from the other.
Shaggy: Very funny, very funny.
Scooby: Yeah. Rery funny.

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Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Shaggy: Scooby-Snacks won't work on me this time.
Daphne: Would you do it for a Shaggy-Snack? A little something I whipped up.
Shaggy: Huh? A Shaggy-Snack?
Daphne: Yes, it's a pot-pie, with pizza crust, anchovies, pepperoni, cherries, all in a thick chocolate sauce.
Shaggy: Hahahaha! I'll do it! I'll do it!

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Never Ape and Ape Man - S1-E7

Daphne: That puts the stairs back. But I wonder what the other switches do?
Velma: Well, with your luck, Daph, the next button you push will bring the roof down. But, go ahead.

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Fred: Well, uh, we're gona take a nap now.
Daphne: In our dressing room.
Janitor: Um, no one cares
Fred: Yeah, so, uh, we'll be asleep and napping. Just totally unprotected.
Daphne: In our dressing room. Asleep.
Fred: Unguarded!
Daphne: In our dressing room!
Fred: Unguarded!

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Shaggy: We need aspirin, a chiropractor, and some baby oil. Right now!

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Velma: Trouble sleeping?
Daphne: Ah, yeah.
Velma: Are you okay? What's wrong?
Daphne: I'm fine.
Velma: You're obviously not fine, Daphne. Why don't you tell me about it?
Daphne: I'm in love with Fred. There, I said it!
[Velma rolls her eyes.]
Velma: Really? Wow, I never would have... Gosh, that's a shocker.

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Daphne: Fred, why do ghosts and monsters and stuff turn up where ever we go? Is it something about us?
Fred: No, this happens to everyone.
Daphne: What?
Fred: It would be too much of a coincidence if this only happened to us. So logically everyone must run into ghosts and monsters all the time.
Daphne: Really?
Fred: Sure, it's simple math. They must be everywhere.

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Shaggy: Do you have anything bigger than the extra-extra-large?
Waitress: Yeah, but it's not on the menu. Oh and you have to sign a release saying we're not responsible if you die.
Shaggy: We'll take it!
Scooby: Yeah!
Waitress: Alrighty. But I'll have to move you to another table.
Shaggy: Why?
Waitress: Because this one is smaller than your pizza.
Shaggy and Scooby: Awesome!

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Mel Richmond: You must be from the show, right?
Fred: Yeah, we're contestants.
Mel Richmond: Right. Well, uh, good luck to you. You make a cute couple.
Daphne: We're not a cute couple! I mean, heh, we're not a couple... So we can't be a cute one, although we would be if we were. Which we're not. I mean, it's not like we don't like each other, we just don't "like" like each other. It's just not likely. Right, Fred? Or do we? We don't right? Do we? Why are we talking about this so much? Can we just, change the subject now, please? This is none of your business!

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Velma: Who are you?
Pauldini: I am The Great Pauldini!
[Pauldini makes an egg appear in his hand.]
Pauldini: My card.
Velma: Uh, that's an egg.
Pauldini:...Okay, egg, card, whatever. I made it appear, right? Can you do that? No, you can't because you're not a magician, heh! Who's a magician?
Velma: You are?
Pauldini: Oh, yeah, heh. Up high. That's what I'm talking about.

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Daphne: Does it say anything in those books about that Opera House where we're shooting the show?
Velma: Yeah. It's almost a hundred years old. It's been closed since the 70's. And there are rumors that it's haunted.
Shaggy: Of course it's haunted. Like when do we ever go to a place that is not haunted?

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Daphne: Hey, that's not the song we're doing.
Fred: This is a little something I wrote myself.
Shaggy: Like, that's catchy.
Fred: Eyes on the road! Eyes on the road!
Shaggy: Right.
Daphne: Wow, Fred, that's beautiful. I really like you. It! I like it! Not you. I mean I like you but... Heh, I, uh, like your song.
Fred: Thanks!

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Red: Magic harp, final tone. Guide these heroes safely home!

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Captain Ahab: Catch this, you big bully!

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King Cole: The bigger they are, the harder the bawl.

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Mr. Ginormous: Okay, fine. If I like your act, you live! If not, I'll grind your bones to make my bread.

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