Stand Up Guys (2012)

Val: Hey, ladies! What do you say, what do you know? It's me, Giacomo.

Doc: Exit, stage left.

Val: Your place looks like where I just came from except it's worse.
Doc: So, it's not to your liking. Sorry.
Val: Not to my liking is the understatement of all time.

Doc: I can't do what I said I would do. Mercy is a one-saying, mercy.
Claphands: Finish this.

Doc: My friend is looking for a "party."
Wendy: Yeah? What kind of party?
Val: Bar Mitzvah.

Val: So how's your health?
Hirsch: Well, they took something out of me a couple of months ago.
Val: What'd they take out?
Hirsch: I don't know. I didn't ask, it's none of my business. But I'm a little more streamlined now, a little more aerodynamic.

Hirsch: Give me the key.
Doc: There's no key.
Hirsch: Give me the key.
Doc: It's new. It's a button. Push the button.
Val: Push the button.
Doc: It's computers.
Hirsch: Man, this is like the future.

Val: I took the fall. For everyone. I'm a stand up guy.

Doc: You can't open a car with a coat hanger any more, Val.
Val: Says who?
Doc: Says the people who make cars.

Hirsch: Hey, Val.
Val: Yeah?
Hirsch: It's like the old days, isn't it?
Val: No! It's better.
Hirsch: Yeah! Why?
Val: Because this time we can appreciate it.
Hirsch: Yeah, that's why.

Val: They say we die twice. Once when the breath leaves our body, and once when the last person we know says our name.