That's My Boy (2012)

Dante Spirou: Vanilla Ice banged grandma? That's fucking awesome.

School Buddy #1: What's a handjob?
School Buddy #2: I don't know, but I think I want one.

Donny: Look at you guys. You've got your faces covered in leprechaun shit. We should be getting whacked off, all of us, as a fucking team.

Donny: Mrs. Ravensdale, you wanna whip them knockers out? We'd love to see them.
Mrs. Ravensdale: All right, you know what? You are an imbecilic, immature, asinine, childish, cave man-like, hairy knuckled, single chromosomal, obnoxious, uneducated, ignorant asshole who I would like to fuck hard and long.
Donny: So I'm going to go put a dent in that.

Donny: That's my boy.

Bridesmaid: So you actually knew Todd's father?
Donny: Of course I knew the guy. He was handsome, he had fuckin' great hair, uh, a Jedi with the chicks. Went down on girls for a wicked long time 'cause he was a giver and he wanted to see others be happy.
Helen: Oh, I wish I could have met him.

Donny: Chad, you're United States Marine USC, you're a disgrace to that uniform.
Jamie: He's not a Marine! He just buys his clothes on eBay so that Dad doesn't find out he's a modern jazz dancer.
Donny: What? That's possibly worse than the incest thing.

Todd: You know what I do remember? You making me drive you home from the beach 'cause you got too drunk.
Donny: It makes sense to me. When somebody's hammered, they have another guy drive home.
Todd: I was eight.

Donny: Do you have any AXE body spray?
Todd: No, Donny. I don't have any AXE body spray because I'm not a fucking douchebag.
Donny: That's a douchebag thing? When did that become a douchebag thing?

Donny: Your mother was a math teacher and I was pretty much a whiz kid myself.
Todd: The ability to make a bong out of a Taco Bell cup does not make you a whiz kid, Donny.

Phil: Hey look, this might seem weird, but do you think you would ever.
Donny: Bone your wife? Yeah, I mean I'd love to. She's a hot little number.
Phil: Well, you know, I was just gonna ask you for an autograph.
Donny: Oh, oh, I'm sorry! On her tits, or...?