Kumar Patel: I've never sucked a dick before. I bet it sucks dick!
Guru Tugginmypudha: Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz.
Jonathan Carnahan: I hate mummies. They never play fair.
Nick: If anyone is getting raped in that van, it'll be a guy.
The Silent Monk: Learn the form, but seek the formless. Hear the soundless. Learn it all, then forget it all. Learn The Way, then find your own way.
Molly Johnson: All the world's great civilizations have followed the same path. From bondage to liberty, from liberty to abundance, from abundance to complacency, from complacency to apathy, from apathy back to bondage. If we are to be the exception to history, then we must break the cycle, for those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Livingston: There's no control in life. Wherever you go, wherever you hide, there's risk.
Scott Percival: The door closed behind me.
Baker Smith: Herb will get you through times with no money, better than money will get you through times with no herb.
Harvey Milk: Without hope, life's not worth living.
Adele Lack: Everyone is disappointing the more you know them.
Eli: I'm twelve. But I've been twelve for a long time.
Brand Hauser: Did you know that the word "person" comes from the Latin word "persona", which means mask? So maybe being human means we invite spectators to ponder what lies behind. Each of us will be composed of a variety of masks, and if we can see behind the mask, we would get a burst of clarity. And if that flame was bright enough, that's when we fall in love. What's your opinion on these divine matters?
Natalie Hegalhuzen: I'm not going to fuck you. You know that, right?
Hancock: I apologize to the people of Los Angeles. My behavior has been improper and I accept the consequences. I ask my fellow Angelinos for their patience and understanding. Life here can be difficult for me. After all, I am the only one of my kind. During my incarceration, I will be participating in alcohol and anger management treatment. You deserve better from me. I can be better. I will be better.
President Ashton: This intel is certain?
Phil McCullough: Absolutely.
President Ashton: Then why aren't we focusing on the ones who are here actually doing this?
Phil McCullough: We are.
President Ashton: This summit is too important.
Phil McCullough: I know that sir, but we're looking for five people out of six million. We are trying.
President Ashton: Try harder.
Juan Antonio: Well, now that the day's almost over, is it reasonable of me to ask you if you'll both join me in my room?
Vicky: Oh, come on, I thought we'd settled that.
Cristina: Vicky's just trying to say that she's engaged to be married, that's all.
Juan Antonio: Great. Then these are her last days of freedom.
Vicky: No. Look, I'm not free. I'm committed. You know what my theory is? And when I drink, I get brutally frank. I think that you're still hurting from the failure of your marriage to Maria Elena, and you're trying to lose yourself in empty sex.
Juan Antonio: Empty sex? Do you have such a low opinion of yourself?
Cricket Feldstein: You wanna hit me? I would love it if you hit me! I'm married to a Jew, I've got nothing to lose.
Carrie Mae: The only magic I ever did was try to figure out how to stay in college for nine years and not go back to my trailer park in Idaho.
Bill Maher: And I see you've got a lot of bling.
Jeremiah Cummings: I like gold. The people want you to look well.
Bill Maher: That's what pimps say about their women.