Best comedy movie quotes of 2004

Zenon Kar: That's ridiculous. You're not old until you hit 30.
Proto Zoa: I'm 31.

Ned Plimpton: I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life.

Jamal: Is he dead? Okay, I'm tired of dead people.

Jack: I'm trying to get you a little action, I'd appreciate a little help.

Addie Singer: Ever since Ben's Bar Mitzvah, he's been trying to make everything a right of passage.

Sing's Sidekick: You gave him your life savings?
Sing: Yes. I was saving to become a doctor or lawyer... but this was a chance for world peace.

Carl Colt: [Enters betting shop.] Twenty pounds to win, Ajay Bhatt.
Vijay: Hold on, isn't he playing your brother?
Bookmaker: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Carl Colt: Yeah, but curiously, I'm not.

Tommy Warshaw: If I want to exercise my god given freedom to experience people getting cut up by chainsaws and hung on meat hooks, I think I have the constitutional right to do so, don't you?

Scott: "To catch a husband is an art. To hold him is a job." - Simone de Beauvoir.

Luke: Belt of Orion? How about belt of O-Fryin'.

Jordan Cahill: You can't blame the location, you can only blame yourself. The suburbs are just a state of mind.

Greg: That's right, I quit too.
Tina Hammersmith: Greg you'll lose your cheerleading scholarship.
Greg: That's right, I'm stayin here! But under a cloud of shame.

Mr. Rad: Get yo' head up. You lost the money, it's gone. But, you can't lay around in yo' misery too long. Do not walk outta' this place and start to second guess yo' talent. You got yo' ass whooped tonight. But, I done seen y'all whoop a many a ass, right in the same place. Now, you lost. Lemme tell you somethin' my father told me, is: "If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger." Remember that.

Ella: Maybe we should just go to the hotel.
Lola: What? And miss the concert? Yeah, I don't think so.
Ella: We're not actually at the concert.
Lola: We're close. Stu Wolff's only a few yards away from us. And then he'll be at the after-party with us.
Ella: Your belief system amazes me.

Walt Wagner: Maybe you should go back to your shrink... Discuss it.
Hobie: He just recommended Prozac. I think he has stock in the company, honestly.

John Henry 'Jack' Armstrong: What is that?
Alex Guerrero: It's a turkey baster. You're not poking that thing inside me, I don't do dick.
Fatima Goodrich: Don't look at me, I want it the old fashioned way.

Helicopter Pilot: I just love the smell of summer camp in the evening.

Daryl Isaacs: You're sick, and you're making yourself sick, and you can make yourself unsick by stopping doing what you're doing.

Damian Cunningham: I thought it was from God... who else would have that kind of money?

Dave: Hey, I think something's wrong with the lights.