Ray: This place is full of fake tits and real assholes.
Tommy Corn: How come we only ask ourselves the really big questions when something bad happens?
Jordan Cahill: You can't blame the location, you can only blame yourself. The suburbs are just a state of mind.
Penny Travis: Is there such a thing as the human heart, now there's the better question.
Tim Travis: Well, if you listen closely, you can hear 'em breaking.
Alistair Hennessey: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we fuckin' stole it, man.
Mr. Rad: Get yo' head up. You lost the money, it's gone. But, you can't lay around in yo' misery too long. Do not walk outta' this place and start to second guess yo' talent. You got yo' ass whooped tonight. But, I done seen y'all whoop a many a ass, right in the same place. Now, you lost. Lemme tell you somethin' my father told me, is: "If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger." Remember that.
Jack: If they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot.
Miles Raymond: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am not drinking any fucking Merlot.
John Henry 'Jack' Armstrong: What is that?
Alex Guerrero: It's a turkey baster. You're not poking that thing inside me, I don't do dick.
Fatima Goodrich: Don't look at me, I want it the old fashioned way.
Damian Cunningham: I thought it was from God... who else would have that kind of money?
Katherine Warshaw: Go on. Run away just like your father.
Tommy Warshaw: He didn't run away, Mom. He died.
Tom: So, let's step on the gas and kick some... butt.
Alfie: I felt I needed a friend to talk to. But as it was, they were suddenly in short supply.
Customer Muhammed: Terri... what you need is a real man. A Muslim man.
Samantha Mackenzie: I'm the devil, See?
Drew Latham: Please! Please, let me stay here.
Tom Valco: No.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you.
Tom Valco: My family's not for sale, pal.
Drew Latham: I'll pay you $250,000.
Tom Valco: Welcome home, son.
Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick.
John Ambrose Fauntroy: Dear friends, the colored is not ready for freedom. To free him is to make him an orphan. Liberty would be a great curse to the race.