Latrell Spencer: Oh the deception. The betrayal. Man you deceived me.
Marcus Copeland: Look man.
Latrell Spencer: Negro please. Didn't any one tell you that this was an all white party, huh? Someone get this jiggaboo away from me.
Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was ten.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on.
Carla: Girlfriends, big or small, thin or fat, worship that body, it's the only one you've got.
Steve Zissou: You know I'm not good at apologizing, so I'll just skip it if it's all the same to you.
Alfie: I felt I needed a friend to talk to. But as it was, they were suddenly in short supply.
Miles Raymond: Hey, what should I wear?
Jack: I don't know, something casual but nice. They think you're a writer.
Samantha Mackenzie: I'm the devil, See?
Ellis Moonsong: Why do things that start off so promisingly always have a way of ending up in the dump?
Melinda: Not for everyone.
Ellis Moonsong: Well, for anybody with any imagination. You know, life is manageable enough if you keep your hopes modest. The minute you allow yourself sweet dreams you run the risk of them crashing down.
Gawain MacSam: Would you tell this muthafucka he can sew this shit back on? It's like that dude whose wife cut his dick off, threw it on the freeway? She just called Triple A, they towed the dick and sewed the muthafucka back on. Listen up, jackass, I saw the muthafucka in a porno, the thang still worked, it looked like a chewed-up frank, but that little muthafucka be workin' that muthafucka. It's mangly, but he be fuckin' the bitch all kind of ways with a twisted dick.
Pappass: Places change like people change.
'Darky' Spokesman: For a shine that's jigaboo' bright.
Sing: No soccer.
Zenon Kar: That's ridiculous. You're not old until you hit 30.
Proto Zoa: I'm 31.
Ramtha: Do I think you're bad? I don't think you're bad. Do I think you're good? I don't think you're good either. I think you're God.
Derek: This next track is dedicated to all the guys out there whose hearts have been ripped out of their chests and devoured for breakfast by cute, peppy, social climbing blonde girls. Gimme a hey, gimme a ho, gimme a I Don't Know You Any More. I know it sucks.
Mark Wiener: People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes. They think they do, but they don't. If you're the depressed type now, that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless, happy type, that's the way you'll be when you grow up. You might lose some weight, your face might clear up, get a body tan, a breast enlargement, a sex change - makes no difference. Essentially... from in front, or from behind... whether you're thirteen or fifty, you'll always be the same.
