Best comedy movie quotes of 2004

Ben Calder: Anna? Anna.
Anna Foster: Ben! Come on! Venice awaits! Where have you been?
Ben Calder: Just having a mild heart attack.

Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?
April: When I was ten.
Ferrari: Okay, moving on.

Addie Singer: Ever since Ben's Bar Mitzvah, he's been trying to make everything a right of passage.

Sing: No soccer.

Nancy Hayes: I dropped out of high school, took a trip to Hollywood, went broke, came home, and hostessed at a strip club.
Jack Ryan: Everybody hostesses, nobody strips.

Ramtha: Do I think you're bad? I don't think you're bad. Do I think you're good? I don't think you're good either. I think you're God.

Sam: Nobody ever suspects the fun police.

Mark Wiener: People always end up the way they started out. No one ever changes. They think they do, but they don't. If you're the depressed type now, that's the way you'll always be. If you're the mindless, happy type, that's the way you'll be when you grow up. You might lose some weight, your face might clear up, get a body tan, a breast enlargement, a sex change - makes no difference. Essentially... from in front, or from behind... whether you're thirteen or fifty, you'll always be the same.

Girl #1: My mom and dad are very religious. At night I hear them scream "Jesus".

Young African American male in Michigan: And I was watchin' TV one day, 'and they're showin' like some of the buildings and areas that had been hit by bombs and things like that, and while I watchin' I got to thinkin' like', "There's parts of Flint that look like that, and we ain't been in a war."

Carl Colt: [Enters betting shop.] Twenty pounds to win, Ajay Bhatt.
Vijay: Hold on, isn't he playing your brother?
Bookmaker: You should be ashamed of yourself.
Carl Colt: Yeah, but curiously, I'm not.

Lola: Here's what I learned: when you're happy, the whole world's New York. And that dreams are important. Someday, when you're not even looking, they find you.
Lola: It was the first time I realised that absolute reality could be so much more fun than fantasy.

Scott: "To catch a husband is an art. To hold him is a job." - Simone de Beauvoir.

Luke: That's it, ladies, show me your navels.

Zenon Kar: That's ridiculous. You're not old until you hit 30.
Proto Zoa: I'm 31.

Jordan Cahill: You can't blame the location, you can only blame yourself. The suburbs are just a state of mind.

Lalita Bakshi: You should be stirring your husband's dinner not trouble.

Sam: This is your one opportunity to do something that no one has ever done before and that no one will copy throughout human existence. And if nothing else, you will be remembered as the one guy who ever did this. This one thing.

John Henry 'Jack' Armstrong: What is that?
Alex Guerrero: It's a turkey baster. You're not poking that thing inside me, I don't do dick.
Fatima Goodrich: Don't look at me, I want it the old fashioned way.

Helicopter Pilot: I just love the smell of summer camp in the evening.