Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups.
Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch.
Captain Mack: Ladies and Gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude of 33 thousand feet... 33 thousand feet? Oh shit, man! We fuckin' higher than Redman at the Source Awards.
Sykes: Who's your Puff Daddy? Who takes care of you, huh?
Garfield: Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.
Angelica: Rosalee, when great love is rejected something inside a man dies.
Reuben Feffer: Ahh... rat in the house.
Polly Prince: That's not a rat, that's my ferret.
Nate Johnson: Nikki, this better be FTD, cuz this Russian tail is old enough to be yo' grandaddy.
Nikki Johnson: Not mom's big daddy.
Neuter Grandmother on Bus: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles, showing your pubic patch to the bus driver. You should move downtown where you belong, you whore.
Daniel: If you can reach out and touch the horizon, you're at your journeys end.
Audrey: James Joyce?
Daniel: My Uncle Clive, but, equally profound, don't you think?
Count Olaf: I must say, you're a gloomy looking bunch. Why are you so glum?
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died.
Count Olaf: [nonchalantly.] Ah, yes. How very dreadful. Wait, let me do that one more time. Give me the line again while it's fresh in my mind.
Klaus Baudelaire: Our parents just died?
[Olaf pretends to be shocked.].
Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year.
Bobbi Markowitz: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really merry Christmas.
Pam Byrnes: In a few weeks, I'm not going to be Pam Byrnes. I'm going to be Pamela Focker.
Greg Focker: Or Byrnes-Focker, we haven't totally decided yet.
Pam Byrnes: No, no, no, I'm going to be Pamela Martha Focker. I know how that sounds but that's the name I'm taking.
Lance: All I can find are these scrunchies.
Miles: Yeah and socks.
Russell: Cha-ching! I found bras.
Miles: Yeah.
[A big grizzly bear has just appeared from the forest and is standing right in front of Tom, Dan and Jerry.]
Dan: What are you doing?
Jerry: I'm taking off my shoes.
Dan: Why?
Jerry: Because I run faster with no shoes.
Dan: You can't outrun that bear.
Jerry: I don't have to outrun the bear. I just have to outrun you.
Ben Calder: Anna? Anna.
Anna Foster: Ben! Come on! Venice awaits! Where have you been?
Ben Calder: Just having a mild heart attack.
Hiram Gummer: I feel I've not been privy to critical, most needful information.
The Duke: Don't you fucking talk to me like I'm some kind of mug. Don't you fucking talk to me like that.
XXXX: Duke, don't take this personally. It's business. Now, you want to know how much these pills are worth?
The Duke: Yes. Fucking. Please.
XXXX: Now just because you pay a fiver a pop down the local cattle market, don't, for fuck's sake, think these pills are worth millions. They're not. We've got to find someone to buy these pills and they've got to split them into parcels, of say 100,000. They've got to find these people. It's hard work.
The Duke: Oh, you'd give a fucking aspirin a headache pal.