E.L.: You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself.
Peter McGowan: Are you drunk or something?
Larry: What time is it?
Peter McGowan: Four.
Larry: Yep.
Tigger: You can't bounce the bounce if you can't even pronounce the bounce.
Joseph Turner White: What's an associate producer credit?
Bill Smith: It's what you give to your secretary instead of a raise.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.
Karen: Bullwinkle, can you rappel?
Bullwinkle: Sure. I've been repelling viewers for years.
Rusty Duritz: Holy smokes... 99 channels and there's nothing on.
Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?
Cecil: There are no rules in underground cinema, only edges.
Charlie: So, you're going to dinner with both of them? The girl you like and the girl you slept with?
Oscar: Yeah, my dad's coming too.
Jennifer: I wanna do laundry with you, Ryan.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Rafi: Toninho, what on earth possessed you to do what you did? I mean, when a man truly loves his wife, he never lets her catch him.
Jim Grover: It's quints.
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."