Charlie: So, you're going to dinner with both of them? The girl you like and the girl you slept with?
Oscar: Yeah, my dad's coming too.
Betty: We never get to do our laundry together.
Tigger: You can't bounce the bounce if you can't even pronounce the bounce.
Jim Grover: It's quints.
Miranda Frayle: You planned all this business of Dora dressing up, didn't you, just to belittle me in front of Nigel, to make me look like a fool?
Felicity Marshwood: I rather think you contributed to that rather generously yourself.
Florence "Chicklet" Forrest: I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?
Bennett: I once heard someone say: "When you dim your light, so that someone else can shine, the whole world gets darker."
Kate: I like being depressed. It makes me feel deep and introspective.
Victoria: You're an alcoholic.
Adam: Alcoholics have class. I'm a fucking drunk.
Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.
Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.
Lily, Burnett Stone's granddaughter: Magic Railroad?
Mr. C. Junior: Whatever.
Ben: Are you gay, or are you just acting gay?
Robert: Well, that depends, are you interested are are you just acting interested?
Lou Mozell: You know, that I actually met a girl by the name of Moo Goo Gai Pan? That was her last name. Her first name was Freida. Freida Moo Goo Gai Pan. She was half-Jewish, half-Chinese. A lot of people called her the Ori-Yenta.
Monica Jones: Melons are like boyfriends. Shall I tell you why? To get a single good one you must one hundred try.
Noah: There you are again with those books! What is that?
Paul Tannek: Studying?
Bob Barrenger: Only second chance I know, is the chance to make the same mistake twice.
Beret Girl: Max, Max, Max. Admit defeat, and defeat will surely admit you into permanent custody, my man.