Violet: Cammie, I think I just fell in love with you.
Cammie: Oh Violet, I'm not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.
Violet: That's not, what I meant.
Jeff Dearly: Look, I heard you the first time, Bobby. I ain't mute.
Wardell 'Bubba' Owens: Get off the cross G.W. We need the wood.
Jerry O'Neill: It's got nothing to do with me.
Jerry O'Neill: It all depends on the woman and how willing she is to discover her infinite supply of orgasms.
Eric Matthews: Why don't just you shut up?
Gracie Hart: Why? You're shutting up enough for both of us.
Grandma Klump: Now that's what I call the Muy Caliente El Negro Special.
Roy O'Bannon: I don't know karate, but I know kar-azy, and I will use it.
Sam Tiler: Jack was nimble. Jack was quick. Jack gouged eyes with candlesticks.
Nick Marshall: There's way too much estrogen on television these days.
Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt."
Pete: So, uh, what brings you to Australia?
Maddie: Well, I uh, my parents inherited the inn.
Pete: Really? From who?
Maddie: Oh, some dead guy.
Pete: Some dead guy?
Cruella de Vil: Just a teensy, weensy heckle? You know - murderer.
Janni Gogolack: You know I have this same car?
Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really?
Janni Gogolack: No.
Kathryn: Two's company. Three's a fuck load of fun.
Cliff Buxton: Do you know what I thought when this first came up?
Glenn Latham: What, your pipe?
Cliff Buxton: No. The moon mission.
Glenn Latham: You beauty?
Cliff Buxton: I thought, imagine stuffing that up. Isn't that odd?
Glenn Latham: What?
Cliff Buxton: Well, that I was more scared than excited.
Glenn Latham: I don't think that's odd. I feel like that all the time.
Tony: Bed for the undead?
Cortes: My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged, and when we put into Cuba to resupply, God willing you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives. To the brig.
Miguel: Alright! Cuba.
Joe: Once, there was only silence, and not a speck of hope in sight. And every tiny bubble burst on its journey towards the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again, it's a brand new era... about to begin.