Paul Tannek: What kinda drugs were you giving out here?
Chris: Drugs? Man, all we had was beer.
Paul Tannek: You can't pass out from beer.
Chris: Yes, you can, if you take something before you drink it.
Ryan: I like that you look nervous sometimes for no reason. And when you do, you bite your lip. I like that you probably... rifled through your closet tonight... and settled with what you started out with. I like your smile.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: You have no idea what you're up against.
Bart Parker: You don't know my men.
Dr. Anton Rudolph: This is not some garden snake you're going after. We are talking about a perfect killing machine. A 129-foot all-terrain vehicle capable of speeds exceeding 50 miles an hour with skin that can deflect an antitank round, enhanced night vision and a voracious appetite for human flesh. It will slaughter your men before they have a chance to blink.
Pam Byrnes: Greg honey, how are you doing?
Greg Focker: Oh great, considering I desecrated your Grandma's remains, found out you were engaged, and had your father ask me to milk him.
Vanessa: I just wanna know where I belong.
Mona Hibbard: You belong in the family box.
Miranda Frayle: I'm absolutely determined that the Countess of Marshwood shall be the longest, and greatest, role I ever played.
Felicity Marshwood: I do hope you won't find it too much of a strain.
Nigel: Mother.
Felicity Marshwood: I do know what I'm talking about. I've played it for years. I find it a good part, but technically rather exhausting.
Sherrif Eldon Ballard: Hey! I'm the law, I ain't gotta do nothing.
Matthew: Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America.
Steerpike: Why is it that some people starve and others have so much they waste it?
Sean Dawkins: We're gonna be there! We're going.
Mrs. MacKenzie: Get me a T-shirt... a really tight one.
Gordie Boggs: That's gross, Mrs. MacKenzie.
Imogen: A little soul is necessary in life.
Sleep'N Eat: Years ago, I married a widow who had a grown up daughter. My daddy visited us often, fell in love, and married her. Thusly, he became my son-in-law and my step-daughter became my mother because she was my father's wife. That's right. After that, my father's wife gave birth to a son who became my brother and my grandchild, because he was the son of my daughter. I ain't jiving! Now, accordingly, my wife was my grandmother because she was my mother's mother. Mantan, I was my wife's husband and grandchild at one and the same time. And lo and behold, as the husband of the person's grandmother is a grandfather, I became my goddamn own grandfather.