Sam Callahan: Will you explain to me about women?
Lydia Callahan: Women are right, men are wrong, and that's all you need to know.
Sam Callahan: Do you practice sex with Dothan?
Maurey Pierce: Of course not, silly. He's my boyfriend.
Hank Elkrunner: People in the cities cannot believe in nobility because they see no sign of it.
Maurey Pierce: I want to explain the rules before we do this.
Sam Callahan: Do what?
Maurey Pierce: Make sex. Why else would I be here?
Sam Callahan: We're gonna perform sex now?
Maurey Pierce: After coffee.
Maurey Pierce: We're both virgins, but someday we're gonna find ourselves doing it for real.
Sam Callahan: So today's sex isn't real?
Maurey Pierce: We're just friends helping each other learn a new skill. This is practice.
Sam Callahan: So, will we still be virgins afterward?
Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.
Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.
Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.
Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.
Sam Callahan: Mom, I hate when you talk about cute naked stuff I did when I was little.
