Soul Station Manager: Mr. Phelps, I see you've listed "dabut" under your hobbies?
Leon Phelps: Yeah, that's "da butt."
Dex: Y'know, no-one ever says, "Hey, God, how was your day? What can I do for you, God?" Or, "Hey, God, did you catch Letterman last night?"
Syd: Oh, and I suppose you talk to God like that?
Dex: Always. All the time.
Syd: And what does God say?
Dex: He says, "You know what? I saw Letterman and it sucked."
Cruella de Vil: Just a teensy, weensy heckle? You know - murderer.
Football Announcer: Our next defeat is scheduled for next Friday, 8 o'clock.
Janni Gogolack: You know I have this same car?
Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky: Really?
Janni Gogolack: No.
Bob Rueland: I miss Elizabeth. I'll always miss her. But I ache for Grace.
Cliff Buxton: Do you know what I thought when this first came up?
Glenn Latham: What, your pipe?
Cliff Buxton: No. The moon mission.
Glenn Latham: You beauty?
Cliff Buxton: I thought, imagine stuffing that up. Isn't that odd?
Glenn Latham: What?
Cliff Buxton: Well, that I was more scared than excited.
Glenn Latham: I don't think that's odd. I feel like that all the time.
Officer Harry Cox: Harry Cox is all over this, sir.
Tony: Bed for the undead?
Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping.
Joe: Once, there was only silence, and not a speck of hope in sight. And every tiny bubble burst on its journey towards the light. But the spark of creation will flicker again, it's a brand new era... about to begin.
Grady Tripp: It's been a long time since someone wrote a really good book in jail.
Miranda Frayle: I'm absolutely determined that the Countess of Marshwood shall be the longest, and greatest, role I ever played.
Felicity Marshwood: I do hope you won't find it too much of a strain.
Nigel: Mother.
Felicity Marshwood: I do know what I'm talking about. I've played it for years. I find it a good part, but technically rather exhausting.
Vanessa: I just wanna know where I belong.
Mona Hibbard: You belong in the family box.
Jack Byrnes: Greg's a male nurse.
Greg Focker: Yes. Thank you, Jack.
Kevin: Wow, that's great. I'd love to find time to do some volunteer work. Just the other day I saw a golden retriever, he had like a gimp, ya know I just wish I could have done something.
Greg Focker: Yeah, well I get paid too so it's sort of an everyone wins thing.
Steerpike: Why is it that some people starve and others have so much they waste it?
Matthew: Isn't American cheese appropriately named? You know, it's fake and processed, just like America.
Sean Dawkins: I'll get the... um, um, um... the cheeseburger Maxi Meal.
Gordie Boggs: ...and the Brittany bare-ass buffet.
Charlie: I'm asking for an example of one of these dumb fucks being a dumb fuck.
Imogen: A little soul is necessary in life.