Small Time Crooks (2000)

Ray: Very funny. You should be on tv.
Frenchy: I am! Open your eyes.

Ray: Can we change the music, please? Because I feel like I should be wearing a wig.
Frenchy: You will be in a couple of years.

May Sloane: Then the lights begin to flash. Little pinpoints of light. Then my tongue turns black and I can't swallow.
Dr. Henske: Really?
May Sloane: The diagnosis is Parkinson's, but they think it could be the Ebola virus, or mad cow disease.

Ray: It's Louie the 14th, or Louie the 15th. I don't know how high the Louie's go, actually.

Ray: I'm no genius, believe me, I'm no genius.
Frenchy: Yeah, you don't have to sell me.

Ray: You see this? See how beautiful it is?
Frenchy: Yeah.
Ray: See what you're seeing there? It's not just New Jersey. When we first met, there was a sunset it was just like this. Remember that?
Frenchy: Yeah. In New Jersey, but in Colombia there was an earthquake.

David: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at? What would you say is the most significant difference?
Ray: Me? I'd say the frame's bigger here.

Ray: I think she's developing a crush on her teacher, David.
May Sloane: Yeah. Well, you know, he's very good-looking, and he's really bright and very charming. And he's very elegant.
Ray: Okay, May, I got the picture. It's all right.
May Sloane: Well, when you're right, you're right.
Ray: Thank you.

Frenchy: Well, I wanna be the real thing! And you better wise up, 'cause if I grow and you stay as stupid as you are, we're gonna have big problems, Ray.

Ray: I get a bad vibe about this guy, David. It's my street instinct, but I just don't trust him.
May Sloane: Yeah, I know why. Because he's younger than you are, handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are, he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are.
Ray: May, don't feel obligated to pull any punches with me. I can take it.

Ray: You know? Frenchy eats frog's legs.
May Sloane: It's supposed to taste like chicken.
Ray: Rabbit.
May Sloane: Rabbit tastes like frog's legs?
Ray: No, forget it, forget it.

Frenchy: They say I have a flair for decorating. You know this rug lights up? It's made of fiber optics. I'll turn it on later. Stevens, what's with the snails?

Officer Ken Deloach: Hey, you're new here, huh?
May Sloane: Not really. This is my first day.

Denny: Ray really is a genius, Frenchy.
Frenchy: Compared to you, this chair is a genius, Denny.

Frenchy: What are you waiting for, the drilling season?

Ray: We make chicken-chip cookies, ahhhh... tuna mint.

Ray: Remember my nickname when we were in the joint?
Benny: The Brain?
Ray: The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?
Benny: But, Ray! That was sarcastic.

Ray: What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?
Benny: Burn it down.
Ray: What do you mean, "burn it down"? You're still burning stuff down for insurance?
Benny: I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

Benny: You know what I say? She gets a share, but not a full share.
Tommy: I'd go for that. Yeah.
Denny: Yeah, what if we each get a fourth and she gets, like, a third?
Benny: What are you? Nuts? Then she'd be getting more than us.
Denny: How do you figure?
Benny: Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?
Denny: I don't do fractions, all right?

Ray: What are you, a stroke victim?