Rusty Zimmerman: You're ashamed of us, but we're not ashamed of you. As long as you go down on your Banana Republican knees and suck dick, you're my sisters, and I love you. And fuck off.
Sonny: I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.
Emmet Ray: I didn't ask your opinion. I'm just telling ya how it's gonna go.
Leo Morton: Ed, can you take that Delta?
Ed Clabes: No, I can't take the Delta, my airspace is finite.
Barry Plotkin: Uh-oh, Ed's going down the drain.
Ed Clabes: I am not going down the drain.
Barry Plotkin: Oh yes you are. It happens every time you use the term "finite."
Lotte Schwartz: We love her, Craig.
Craig Schwartz: We?
Lotte Schwartz: John and me.
Craig Schwartz: Don't forget about me.
Lotte Schwartz: Well you have a Maxine action figure to play with.
Theresa: Lord, you might be scrawny, but that's a fine boyo you have there.
Assistant at Bewitched: You're wanted on the set.
Lucille: Honey, I'm wanted in seven states.
Kathryn: So I assume you've come here to make arrangements, but unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.
Eric: You bring me over here, and you tell me I'm the worst lover you ever had. And now you tell me it can't be helped.
Orson Welles: I expected better of you, Mank.
Herman Mankiewicz: Me too, but I got used to it.
Elsa Morganthal Strauss-Armistan: If I hadn't been there for you then, you wouldn't be here for me NOW.
Joshua Leonard: I heard two noises coming from two separate areas of space over there. One of them could have been an owl, but the other one sounded like a cackling.
Heather Donahue: No way!
Joshua Leonard: Yeah, it was like a serious cackling.
Heather Donahue: See, my problem is that I sleep like a fucking rock.
Michael Williams: If I heard a cackling, I would have shit in my pants!
Joan of Arc: I did not come here to perform tricks. You're all much cleverer than I am. Me, I don't know A from B. But this much I do know. That while the people of France lie bleeding, you sit around in your fine clothes trying to deceive me, when you're only deceiving yourselves. You say you are men of God. but you do not see His hand in having guided me through 500 leagues of enemy country to bring you His help. Is that not proof enough? Do you still need more signs?
Moff: See ya later Pete, no-one gives a fuck about ya.
Donna: Where are we?
Joe: It's a little inlet, on the back side of Coashov Island.
Donna: Is that like up Shit Creek without a paddle?
Joe: Yeah, pretty much.
Frank Pierce: I gotta get a drink. Sobriety's killing me.
Alan Mann: Look, if he comes to me for your ass, I'm going to have to give it to him. Then you'll just be a hole, with no ass around it.
Angie: OK, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad.
Ben: Next time, you should think before you open your mouth.
Tammy Metzler: If you died right now, I would throw myself into one of my Dad's cement trucks and get poured into your tomb.