Eric: I think I split her in two.
Ted: What happens if someone comes up here and really wants to ski?
Allegra: Come on Pikul. No one actually "skis" anymore, you know that.
Nels Gudmundsson: Accident rules every corner of the universe... except perhaps the chambers of the human heart.
Ghost Dog: Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, he should be able to do one more action with certainty. With martial valor, if one becomes like a revengeful ghost and shows great determination, though his head is cut off, he should not die.
Sarah: Are you on a new book?
Maurice Bendrix: Of course.
Sarah: It's not about us, is it? The one you threatened to write?
Maurice Bendrix: A book takes a year to write. It's too hard work for revenge.
Sarah: If only you knew how little you had to revenge.
Maurice Bendrix: I'm joking. We are adults. We knew it had to end some time. Now we can have lunch and talk about your husband.
PJ Waters: I was young once, too, and handsome. You'd have been impressed.
Ruth Barron: I wasn't born.
Trent: A woman has an orgasm, it's like a fuckin' earthquake, right? I was doing this one Bertha once, I swear to God it was like a 7.5. It's like, I'm lookin' at my dick, going, "Jesus Christ, why can't you do that?"
Detective Jojima: My father was a small-village cop in a town where nothing ever happened. He just hung around like a scarecrow, until he died. But like they say - even a scarecrow keeps away the sparrows.
Earl Partridge: This fucking lie... it's so fucking hard, so long! Life ain't short, it's long, it's long, God damn it.
Miss Constance Scattergoods: A thinning gene pool is a terrible thing to witness. Ah, civilization's crowning achievement: the cocktail hour.
Daniel McMann: Look at the buses, watch 'em.
Carla Tate: Why, what are they gonna do?
Daniel McMann: They pull in, and then they pull out, and they turn, and they back up.
Oliver Lang: I'm a messenger Michael, I'm a messenger! There's millions of us, waiting to take up arms, ready to spread the word... millions of us.
Michael Faraday: No! The government's not who you're killing.
Oliver Lang: Yes. Yes... they'll pay. They'll pay for their sins. Their lies.
Michael Faraday: You're killing children! Children die.
Oliver Lang: Children... I know that. This is war, Michael. In a war, children die.
George Shapiro: Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question: who are you trying to entertain - the audience or yourself?
Vince Boudreau: If a man builds a thousand bridges and sucks one dick, they don't call him a bridge-builder... they call him a cocksucker.
László: Everyone would like it all: something for the body, something for the soul. Something that fills you up, something that makes you hungry.
Harry: Shut the hell up, Francis, or I won't tell anyone where you are, and that would suck for you.
Roy Lee: I'll tell you what's unbelievable... captain of the football team being jealous of you.
Dutch Van Den Broeck: What happens if you don't get elected?
Kay Chandler: The country goes to hell.
Larry Mann: Sometimes you gotta chew your own leg off to get out of life's traps.
