Sonny: I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.
Sonny: Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or speaking.
Sonny: Hey, stay away from the frozen food section, Corinne! Your boobs'll harden.
Sonny: Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh.
Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's.
Julian: Barney?
Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.
Mr. Herlihy: Koufax is a good egg, he was nice to that kid. But he fights like a girl. You like that? I'm right here Miss, what are you gonna do about it? Hahaha.
Sonny: What are you drunk Mr. Herlihy?
Mr. Herlihy: Well, I-I had a few chardonnays, what of it?
Sonny: Get off the stand please.
Mr. Herlihy: You got it. Got a few problems.
Nazo: This is bullshit! Should have same rules for everyone, no matter what age.
Sonny: I'm thinkin' about keepin' the kid.
Phil D'Amato: Sonny, remember that time you went with me to the pet store to get fish food and you saw that cute little puppy and you wanted to get it, but then I reminded you about feeding it and cleaning it and toilet-training it?
Sonny: Yeah.
Phil D'Amato: Well, this is kinda like that - except with a human.
Sonny: Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax.
Sonny: Say "Happy Halloween."
Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween.
Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared.
Sonny: Congratulations! You and "Big Boobs" McGee are gonna get along just fine.
Kevin: Don't call her "Big Boobs" McGee.
Sonny: You're going to explain to your kids that you met their mother while she was waitressing at Hooters?
Kevin: Sonny that was five years ago! She's a doctor now, and my fiance. So from now on, Dr. "Big Boobs" McGee.
Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.
Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.
Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.
Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.
Sonny: I'm working on a big case: I'm gonna sue you assholes for making me come down here.
Sonny: What's in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?
Sonny: What do you eat?
Julian: Food.
Sonny: Oh yea? Well I eat food too.
Sonny: I had a mother lined up for him, but she's bangin' the Pepperidge Farm guy and the kid won't stop peeing and throwing up, he's like a cocker spaniel.
Sonny: What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair.
Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?
Sonny: Yeah.
Layla: Is that strange for you?
Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
Sonny: You can be scared that I might get pickpocketed in a bad neighborhood or break my legs skiing. But don't be scared about me being a dad, because I will not fail. I love this kid too much. I love him as much as you love me, Dad. I'm gonna give him advice and I'm gonna guide him and I'll be there whenever he needs me. I'll fly to New York to be at his court case even if I disagree with why he's there.
Homeless Guy: Total Mind blow.
Answer: Cole.